Written by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, the Marriage in a Box blog shares insights into common relationship struggles, gives ideas for moving beyond the roadblocks, and helps you find your path to happiness – both individually and within your relationship.
Intimacy is reflected in a couple's comfort and closeness and includes emotional and sexual intimacy. Intimacy occurs when two people know and care for each other. These couples are typically open, familiar, and vulnerable in their relationship.
Intimacy intensifies the bond between two people and allows them to open up in front of each other. It fulfills an individual's emotional and physical desires. Intimacy in marriage fosters a close personal bond. While it can prove crucial to friendships and relationships between parent and child, siblings, and others, it is vital to romantic relationships. However, maintaining intimacy and keeping that flame alive in marriage isn't easy. Fortunately, couples can keep the spark alive with reflection, hard work, and innovation.
What does no intimacy in marriage mean?
No intimacy in marriage from a wife or husband means that a couple is not sexually or emotionally involved with each other. It can indicate deeper physical, emotional, or relationship issues between the couple.
How important is intimacy in marriage?
Intimacy is an essential aspect of marriage. If you lack intimacy in your marriage, address the issue healthily and constructively. Ignoring the issue can damage the marriage.
Understanding the Causes of Lost Intimacy
Some of the most common reasons why there is a lack of intimacy in marriage are:
● Low libido or mismatched sex drives.
● Childbirth.
● Workload.
● Stress.
● Medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction.
● History of sexual abuse.
● Infidelity.
● Insecurities or other personal factors like fears, anger, or resentments.
Rebuilding Physical Intimacy
Five tips for restoring intimacy in marriage.
To repair your relationship:
1. Recognize what triggered the lack of intimacy and why you must do something about it early.
2. Be honest with yourself and talk to your spouse.
3 . Prioritize rebuilding intimacy, which requires both partners to commit to effort for change.
4. Remember to also focus on building emotional intimacy. While sexual intimacy is essential, emotional intimacy is equally crucial.
5. Pay attention to the importance of communicating openly with your partner.
Heal Emotional Wounds and Resolve Conflicts.
Intimacy is displayed in a romantic relationship when two people know and care for each other; these individuals are open, familiar, and vulnerable.
There are four main types of intimacy:
● Emotional intimacy
● Intellectual intimacy
● Sexual intimacy
● Experiential intimacy.
Before you can work on intimacy in marriage, it's essential to understand these four main types of intimacy:
● Emotional intimacy can occur when couples feel comfortable sharing their feelings (good and bad).
● With intellectual intimacy, people feel safe sharing their ideas and opinions, even when they don't see eye to eye on the matter.
● Sexual intimacy happens when people engage in sensual or sexual activities.
● People engage in experiential intimacy when they bond during day-to-day activities or work together to accomplish a mission.
Fulfilling each intimacy area helps strengthen a bond. Fulfilling is often a natural part of developing a relationship, but intimacy can bond us as we get closer to an individual. Fortunately, finding that spark again and improving every type of intimacy in your marriage is possible.
Try seeking out new experiences together and reveling in the closeness and comfort you have built in your relationship.
Change up your routine to evoke intense emotions again and maintain avenues of communication.
Find ways to put your love on display and show your spouse that you care for and support them.
Go out of your way to do the unexpected and surprise your spouse.
Maintaining intimacy in marriage is a challenge, but couples can spark the flame with creativity and departing from the mundane. Intimacy isn't just about a physical connection; it's also about closeness and familiarity.
Seeking ways to tell your partner calmly and respectfully if you're having issues is essential for maintaining intimacy. Silence is the silent killer of relationships.
Your marriage isn't doomed if you and your spouse struggle to connect on an emotional, intellectual, sexual, or experiential level. Instead, it can continue to grow if you take time for introspection and put in the work to keep that flame burning.
If you have trouble connecting as a loving couple, consider using Marriage in a Box for helpful suggestions and support to guide you through the stages of reconnecting for intimacy.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards and find Marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
A couple's communication pattern can often determine the success of a relationship. Good communication enhances your relationship in various ways:
● Couples can discuss and resolve their concerns more positively and effectively instead of stewing over negative feelings.
● It helps with intimacy by using mutual give-and-take when sharing things about yourself and listening to the other person, fostering connection and allowing it to grow and deepen.
● It resolves and reduces conflict by discussing your problems openly and honestly; it helps you to resolve arguments and disagreements more readily rather than getting caught up in misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional strife.
Other factors, including how much you interact as a couple, the personality characteristics of each partner, and stressors, all play a part in determining how satisfied people feel in their relationship. Research suggests that communicating well isn't a guarantee for a happy relationship. Research indicates that good communication skills enhance relationships and well-being in many ways. Effective communication is a way to foster a supportive marriage. By actively listening and responding to your partner (and vice versa), you are more likely to feel valued and cared for.
Recognize the Impact of Poor Communication
If you and your partner struggle with communication, consider talking to a professional for advice and tips on coping. Poor communication leads to money problems because it is hard to plan a budget together without discussing it. When there is no communication, there is no way to compromise. If you have barriers to your communication that you as a couple are unable to overcome, it may result in making wrong assumptions, and you become emotionally distant, and your sex life will suffer. You and your partner may seek others to fill the void. A marriage with little communication shows neglect and can become stagnant.
Causes of Communication Breakdown
Couples often have difficulty communicating about subjects that may cause arguments, like; finances, household chores, trust, jealousy, parenting styles, intimacy, spending time together, and tidiness. If the argument still needs to be resolved and drags on for weeks or months, the communication rut often leads to a breakdown. Criticism, contempt, stonewalling, or defensiveness become frequent if communication breaks down, and an unwillingness to find a path forward may occur.
Signs of Communication Problems
● Avoid assumptions about your partner's thoughts or feelings and minimize or avoid criticizing one another. Engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors or behaviors that seems harmless but indirectly displays unconscious aggressive motives is toxic.
● A neutral approach, with neither offense or defense, will help to hear and evaluate your partner's point of view and try to reach a compromise to avoid having the same arguments repeatedly.
● Stonewalling or intentionally shutting down during an argument to avoid problems, also known as silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship. Difficulty talking to your partner is a sign of communication problems, and you may need more help from a therapist for tips and advice on coping.
Strategies for Enhancing Communication
The key to effective communication in a marriage is listening.
Factors involved in active listening can include:
● tone of voice
● one way to avoid misinterpretations of tone is with written communication (through text, for instance)
● body language
● using gentle touch
● silence to reflect or listen.
Couples need to learn how to do reflective listening, which involves actively listening to what a person says and reflecting and repeating their statements to them. This type of listening helps your partner feel heard and understood, building their self-esteem, and fostering positive social and emotional feelings between you. It helps to clarify your partner's feelings, needs, and expectations so they feel understood, heard, and valued.
You can foster competent marital communication with effort. If you approach conversations by avoiding thinking you are right about something and being clear and direct, it will help keep the peace in your relationship. You have a right to your thoughts and feelings but remember that a conversation should not be a battleground where you must prove yourself right. Talk about your thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and listen to your partner's thoughts, feelings, and ideas with interest. Be cautious about misinterpreting relationship messages, so it pays to clarify the content of your messages to have clear communications.
Avoiding communication or silence is a type of communication that can send a negative, hurtful message. We can learn new behaviors if we are willing to put in time and effort. If we lower our ego and pride and realize it takes time to make changes, we can improve communication with our partners.
If you and your partner struggle to communicate, Marriage In a Box may be an option for learning new communication and listening skills, suggestions on avoiding pitfalls, and available coaching. Consider using Marriage In a Box for help in your new journey to help heal your relationship.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
For all the joy that romantic relationships bring us, they are hard work. Many people struggle to maintain romantic relationships. Fading enthusiasm, long work hours, and lack of personal time and space are the three most common problems; character issues were more likely to be cited as a problem area among women. In contrast, fading enthusiasm was more common among men.
What makes sustaining a long-term love relationship difficult?
There is a theory that many factors in modern life may compound marriage problems. In more detail, in the times of our grandparents, enthusiasm and intense romantic feelings motivated people to start a relationship and were expected to continue as the relationship progressed. Unfortunately, quality time with our partners is becoming increasingly scarce thanks to technology. Even when together, we are somewhere else, in cyberspace or deep in thought; thus, being near one another while doing something else is not having quality time.
For some whose primary love language is quality time, a lack of connectedness can leave them feeling empty and alone. Support, protection, and survival benefits would take over and provide incentives to people to keep the relationship going. Here are five things that threaten the longevity of a relationship.
1. Absence of Communication or Constant Miscommunication.
Communication is one, if not the single, most crucial part of a relationship. What and how things are said play a massive role in the relationship's health. Even in the healthiest of relationships, there are disagreements. Two people have different experiences and perspectives, and while they may be communicating and talking, what is said can get lost in translation. Many times it is mind-reading that gets us in trouble.
This miscommunication in relationships comes from a tendency as humans to fill in the gaps around things we don't fully understand with worst-case scenarios. We assume the worst rather than assuming the best and are disappointed when reality doesn't measure up. While the impulse to do this is perfectly normal, the consequences of it can be incredibly harmful to our relationships. We assume that the worst-case scenario has to be true so that we can guard against being hurt.
Allowing yourself to regulate your emotions by pausing and taking deep breaths before speaking increases the likelihood of having a more beneficial conversation. Communicate clearly to help your partner understand where you're coming from. Tap into the trust and care in your relationship, stay away from judgment and blame, and hit the restart button as many times as needed.
2. Emotional Distance.
Emotional distance in a relationship refers to how the two partners drift apart. Drifting apart is a slow process and may take time to be noticed by the two people. A couple must quickly work to reduce this gap when there are signs of distance. Emotional distance in a relationship can lead to the couple feeling as if they've lost their passion, have little to say to each other, and may need help communicating. Emotional distance can result from stress, depression, or a need for much alone time. Too much criticism or negative communication and expectations of the partner that is too high can also be a cause. Pursuing your partner can also drive them away.
3. Not Making Quality Time for Each Other.
Ways to increase your quality time are:
● Remain focused while your partner is talking, and be mindful.
● Refrain from viewing your partner as needy for wanting quality time.
● Keep your technology put away when you have time planned together.
● Remember to ask what makes your partner feel loved.
4. Lack of Sexual Intimacy.
Sexless marriages lose intimacy due to a lack of sharing and emotional transparency. They are often marriages that are sexless by default. The very bond between partners often makes the stakes of revealing issues too high. Many issues conspire to steal the sexual bond of partners: anger, the demands of everyday life, fear of dysfunction, and the use of porn.
5. Infidelity.
Marital frustration is a common trigger for infidelity; the cheater may have attempted to solve marriage problems with no results, didn't want to get married, or was jealous of the attention given to a new baby. Neither partner may have had the skills to communicate their feelings. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage like neglect or abuse, or a parent who cheated interfered with maintaining a committed relationship. The cheater may not value monogamy, lacks empathy, or doesn't care about the consequences. Lack of respect, financial pressures, poor communication, physical and emotional disconnect, and low compatibility are reasons for infidelity.
How to Revive Your Love Relationship
● Consider what has changed.
● Remind yourself about your partner's good qualities.
● Show more interest in your partner.
● Appreciate and respect each other.
● Show empathy.
● Open the paths of communication.
● Make plans together and go on dates.
Making your marriage work for the long term can be challenging. There can be bumps in the road along the way that may benefit from the skills used by professional counselors. Consider using Marriage In a Box for helpful suggestions in going the distance in your relationship.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards and find marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
It is innate in a child's nature to test limits, like doing something you don't want them to do or reaching for something they shouldn't. On the upside, setting boundaries with children is integral to growing up and becoming independent. Kids must flex boundary-pushing muscles and sometimes disagree with you to assert their individuality. As a parent, the mission is to teach kids to test their limits respectfully, without being defiant, and to know that you are in charge.
Benefits of Boundaries and Expectations.
Boundaries set by parents allow children to grow up to understand they can't always get their way and to be more patient and mature. The mild disappointment often brought about by boundaries can help children to develop empathy and disrupt the selfish thoughts that the world revolves around them. We all learn from struggling a bit; if we always acquiesce our parental authority to our children, it may not help them long-term. Children will have more maturity, resilience, and adaptability and feel safe and connected if you set boundaries.
Guidelines for Setting Boundaries.
● Plan to prevent problems. Thinking through a situation and all potential pitfalls can save a lot of aggravation later. Talk with your child before you attempt a new boundary to ensure you both understand the expectations for behavior.
● Build success into your expectations. Break large tasks into small pieces for younger children. Structure things to make the boundary doable. Remember, not all children are the same.
● Be sure that expectations are clear and positive. Focus on dos as opposed to don'ts. Explain the 'why' behind a limit. Keep expectations simple and easy to understand.
● Give choices. Children can grow into adults who can make intelligent life choices. Start teaching children how to make choices by offering lots of them.
● Model the behavior you'd like to see. Children will copy the adults in their lives. Set a good example.
● Expect setbacks and testing.
Examples of Summer Boundaries to Set
Discuss expectations for the Summer Routine.
Brainstorm together a list and favorite activities you want to participate in over the summer and write them down. Include some ideas for solo activities that are away from digital devices. Hang the list somewhere; you can refer to it throughout the summer. Talk about the changes in your routine while your family is together. Consider all times of day and include bedtime, mealtimes, and other transitions. This talk can help set expectations for the summer and provide a sense of stability children can thrive on.
Set a Daily Quiet Time.
Consider assigning a time of day to be quiet whenever you are around the house. Turn off devices and media. Get out blankets, books, and snacks, and have a time when the household can slow down and relax. Kids will adopt it as part of their summer routine if practiced initially.
Assign a List of Daily Summer Jobs.
Hopefully, children understand their household responsibilities throughout the year. Consider adding age-appropriate duties to the household since there is more time in the summer. If your child is eager to earn money, put together a list of jobs beyond their typical responsibilities, such as vacuuming the first-floor carpet for a fee. In this way, they will practice taking responsibility for a job and have a chance to earn money this summer while helping you out.
Encourage all family members to work together on chores. Teen children may engage in the world of work to gain job experience, make money, and learn the responsibilities and commitments required of an employee. Developing essential job skills and logging experience for their resume will help them acquire future jobs. A place or environment that gives your teen joy can help engage them in the learning and hard work required of a new entry-level position. Volunteering their time is also valuable in discovering their ability to contribute to others.
Help them prepare for summer activities with a checklist.
To set your children up for success in getting ready and out of the door quickly, consider using a checklist to remember what to put in their backpacks for day camp or the pool. Use a simple list of what's consistently needed (bug spray, suntan lotion, water bottle) to help them take responsibility for their preparation.
Establish Computer, TV, and Phone time limits.
Encourage kids to flourish using multiple non-screen activities in the summer. Emphasize, as a family, the reasons why it's important to limit screen time. Focus on the benefits of using time in other ways and be clear together about what limits you'll agree upon.
It is critical to set boundaries and provide structure to kids during the summer to offset developing destructive behaviors while having quality time and making memories. Consider using Marriage In a Box for helpful suggestions and guidance in setting limits with kids during summer vacation.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards ,and find marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Kids often see summer as a time to do whatever they please in endless fun activities without responsibilities or pressures. With too much free time, they may get into bad habits and behaviors. Providing structure in the summer is helpful for most families to keep kids on track and prepare them for the next school year. The demands of filling in time with activities for kids in the summer add financial stress, and taking time off from work may be difficult. Here are a few suggestions for parents to keep kids busy and not go broke.
Setting a Budget
1. Assess financial resources available for summer activities.
Make a list of things your kids would like to do this summer, estimate costs, and create your budget. Look for free and discounted activities. Remember, there are fun activities you can have with things found in the home and free web tutorials. Some ideas are:
● Build a Fort using blankets, tables, couches, boxes or pillows, and a flashlight.
● Kids can learn to draw figures with free video tutorials from Art for Kids.
● Let your kids watch stories read by sports heroes, astronauts or celebrities.
2. Allocate a specific budget for kids' summer activities.
Try creating a summer activity list and start budgeting for the added expenses you will incur. Low-cost, free, or discounted activities in your area are just as much fun and great ways to make memories with your family.
● Set limits in advance.
● Use cash, not credit.
● Track your spending.
● Focus on free/discounted activities.
Practical and affordable ways to keep kids busy.
● Museums and attractions like zoos may offer a free discounted pass or free days.
● Parks and Nature preserves have much to offer with discounts and annual fees.
● Local community pool or YMCA on a discounted family pool pass.
● Having fun in your backyard with a game of tag or softball, riding bikes, or letting your child climb some low tree branches with you nearby is exciting for them.
● Low-cost items like sidewalk chalk and blowing bubbles are also fun.
Outdoor Activities
Check to see what parks or playgrounds are in your area. These are great ways to spend the day with your kids. Outdoor activities offer social interaction, help channel pent-up energy, promote physical and mental health, and help to improve sleep. Many parks have playground equipment and splash pads; they may have a lake with canoes or boats, fishing, picnic tables, and concession stands. Parks are a great place to organize picnics and playdates as they offer tables, shelters, trails, and many opportunities to experience nature and fun.
- By taking your kids on hikes in nature areas, you build your child's appreciation for nature and the outdoors, which offer fresh air and a chance to explore and discuss what they see.
- Look for trails with manageable distances and difficulty, possibly paved. Hiking Project and AllTrails can help you find family-friendly hiking trails and nature reserves near you.
- For birding, bring kids binoculars and a colorful kid's birding guide. Use a Plant identification guide for kids to learn about plant life. Encourage kids to get up close and take notice of tiny details like leaf shape, plant structure, and types of flowers or plants.
- You can do much with a hose and sprinkler or create your own with a pool noodle. Use a tarp for a slip-and-slide. Water balloons can be used for dodgeball or racing with water buckets. Utilize affordable options like sprinklers, water balloons, and inflatable pools.
Indoor Activities
The library has a lot of great things to do, like story hour, puppet shows, and other fun events. You can also do workshops and check out books, music, and movies. Most libraries have a summer reading program that offers reading themes, workshops, and activities. Your library may have online school readiness programs and early literacy workshops. Create a cozy reading nook at home and have a book club with kids and their friends to discuss stories or books they've read
Community Activities
Most local community centers have summer daytime hours and fitness and basketball equipment available. Most centers are free or discounted. These centers may provide many programs like:
● Creative Arts – music or dance
● Recreation/Fitness/sports like basketball or sports leagues
● Clubs
● computer labs
A community center summer program can turn the aimless hours into productive learning and social time that promotes fitness and friendship.
Arts and Crafts
Encourage creativity by showing interest in your child's artistic expression and letting them try a few different types of art. Have fun with their creativity, take them to artistic events and concerts, and praise their creative efforts.
Use inexpensive materials and recycled items for crafting. Find paper or fabric scraps, old magazines, feathers, glue, glitter, and other items to create collages and art pieces. Make sculptures with homemade play dough. Food coloring and water work to create watercolor paintings.
Organize art competitions or showcase kids' creations at home:
● Define the rules and your needs.
● Determine how you're going to pick a winner.
● Offer a prize.
Designate a space in the home to create a collage of your child's art, put it on the fridge, clip it to a string, etc.
There are annual national art competitions like: U.S. Kids Magazine's Cover Contest; check out online art competitions or use your imagination to create a Google Doodle based on a theme.
Volunteer work and community service.
Inspire your children to give; volunteering has well-documented benefits for health and well-being.
Younger kids can:
● Build birdhouses with you and donate them to a local park or nature center.
● Help pick up litter and clean their neighborhood.
Older kids can:
● Lend a hand at the animal shelter.
● Help with planting, watering, and weeding, and learn how to grow plants and vegetables at community gardens.
● Check with a local food bank to see if they need volunteers to sort and distribute food.
Various activity options are available to families to keep kids busy while keeping costs low during the summer. Structuring kids during the summer while having quality time and making memories may put extra stress on parents. Consider using Marriage In a Box for helpful suggestions and guidance through dealing with pressure from what to do with kids on summer vacation.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards and find marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
If you're an older couple looking for the best vacation ideas, it all depends on what you want from a vacation. You may be looking to plan a romantic rekindling with your partner, a wellness and mental well-being excursion, or a visit with family or friends. Maybe your kids have all started their own lives, and you and your partner are both retired and have plenty of free time and energy to devote to your relationship. A vacation can help couples experience the good in life, revive their romance and deepen their connection.
Whatever your reasons for planning a vacation as a senior couple, make sure your trip has many joyful memories and fun adventures. A vacation as a retired couple can be a fantastic way to relax, rejuvenate and reconnect. A beautiful vacation location and change of scenery can inspire couples to take up activities that would foster qualities that initially drew them to one another. Experience the world together and check some destinations off your bucket list.
Traveling together as a senior couple has several positive benefits, from staying active and connected to gaining confidence in yourself and your abilities and rekindling romance.
The importance of rekindling intimacy in a long-term relationship.
These times of rekindling intimacy are critical for the long-term of your relationship. There are times when everyday life causes relationships to feel dull and mundane. Divorce rates are high during retirement years, and all opportunities to inject positivity and focus on your bond are essential for the long haul.
How an over 55+ getaway can help couples reconnect.
A getaway is a perfect time to bond with your partner and will give you a break from the everyday chores at home and inspires positivity. Exploring new places with your partner will help you deepen your bond, learn new things about one another and give you something to look forward to. Being with your partner in a relaxed, fun, and unique environment /culture can increase warm feelings toward them.
Why over 55 getaways are beneficial for rekindling intimacy.
A. Change of scenery.
A romantic getaway with your significant other puts you in a better mood, living out a good vibe and contributing to increased happiness. Beautiful views are awe-inspiring and give you a break from the mundane. Couples who use vacation and travel to spend time together help create positive memories and bring new meaning to their relationship. When both of you recall a funny memory from your vacation, it helps in increasing the feelings of intimacy.
B. Reduces stress levels.
Vacation is essential because it helps clear your mind, bring peace, assess your emotional state, and replenish your physical energy. You can plan relaxing activities in nature, by a pool, or sleep in and get room service.
C. Time away from daily responsibilities.
The routines of daily activities become mundane and add stress. Taking a break from these routines to relax, enjoy and reset is essential. Taking a much-needed time out can refresh and refuel you.
D. Opportunities for new experiences.
It is so easy to staycation, but stepping out from your hometown is the best you can do to see the world together. Bottom-line is that both of you should experience seeing the world together and experience beautiful scenery, and learn about exciting cultures.
E. Bonding over shared activities.
Exploring new places with your partner will help you deepen your bond and learn new things about one another. Even if you've been together for decades, seeing your partner or spouse in a new environment or culture will remind you of all the characteristics you love about them and help you reconnect and rekindle the romance.
How to plan an over 55+ getaway.
Many seniors are willing to spend more and avoid hassles and inconvenience, but it is possible to travel, cut some expenses, and still have some luxuries. Here are some tips about traveling on a budget and still have a great time. As you plan your trip together and plan down time and new and fun activities you like, make sure to include and make time to talk and show affection to each other. Here are some tips for planning travel for seniors.
1. Book in advance on off-seasons.
Save on airfare and lodging. Hopper is an app that helps you find the optimal time to book flights and hotels. There are deals to be had for travel if you look at these sites:
Skyscanner
Kayak
Groupon
2. Travel Overnight and Find Deals.
You can save on a train or bus ticket and hotel by choosing an overnight route since they are less popular than flights. Find deals with locations that offer senior discounts and vacation packages. Use AAA and AARP cards and credit card/travel rewards to enjoy the benefits of booking your flights, accommodation, and attractions, and redeem the points for free flights, discounts, or cheap hotel stays. Some examples are:
Wyndham Rewards
Delta SkyMiles
3. Know How to Pay.
When traveling outside the country, sometimes it's better to carry cash, or it may be more cost-effective to use ATMs. Avoid paying extra fees by researching your currency exchanges beforehand and notify your bank to prevent any alerts or freezes.
4. Pack light.
Only pack what's necessary, especially if you're traveling by plane. Avoid fees, lines, and baggage claims by traveling with carry-on only.
5. Bring Your Own Supplies.
You can save money and bring snacks, food, water bottles, and coffee cups. Try including a nutritious variety of foods (bars, nuts, fruits, veggies, hummus, and yogurt). Try to prepare food and cook when possible.
6. Take Disabilities, Limitations, and Medical needs into Consideration.
Research and arrange in advance any needed handicap accessibility with airports and hotels etc.
7. Consider other forms of transportation to reduce costs.
Examples of less expensive modes of travel are:
- Public transportation
- Carpooling services.
- Renting bikes – keep fit and save by cycling.
- Walking – stay healthy and take time to soak in the area.
- Consider going for a road trip.
8. Take Advantage of Free Attractions.
From museums and galleries to zoos, parks and trails, historic sites, and more, every destination has free attractions that you can enjoy. Senior Pass, you can tour the U.S. National Parks.
9. Visit Friends or Family.
10. Make a List of Travel Priorities.
Organize your travel priorities to plan your trips and travel budgets.
11. Find Inexpensive Destinations.
Plenty of affordable destinations allow you to travel on a dime and still enjoy and immerse yourself in a different culture. Research destinations in advance to calculate potential costs, but here are some top cheap travel destinations to get you started:
- India
- Mexico
- Cambodia
- Armenia
12. Explore Group Travel.
Top Three 55+ getaway destinations
The Virgin Islands.
Travel to the Virgin Islands is roaring back as a popular destination after hurricanes and the pandemic. There has been beautification and renovation in many of the resort areas and reefs.
Yucatán Peninsula, Mexico
Mexico's Yucatan peninsula includes Cancún, which offers resorts, malls, soft alabaster sand, and a blue Caribbean Sea. Tulum offers an archaeological site in a walled Maya city of the post-Classic age perched on a rocky cliff overlooking the Caribbean. Playa del Carmen has a famous beach, and Chichén Itzá has ancient monuments and other stone temples and pyramids in the Riviera Maya. These areas will soon be connected by a train through the jungle in late 2023.
Karnataka, India
Bandipur National Park is known for its Bengal tiger population and safari game drive to see its resident tigers, Asian elephants, leopards, four-horned antelope, golden jackals, and sloth bears. For Americans, much is inexpensive in India due to the lower rupee value. Bangalore has world-class restaurants, art galleries, gardens, and craft beer. The Mysore Palace is just one of the splendid historic residences, temples, and museums in Mysore. Hampi is a UNESCO Site with temples, monolithic sculptures, and boulder-strewn landscapes.
Vacations for ages 55+ can be a time to spend alone, focus on each other without distractions, and inspire positivity. A 55+ couples’ getaway is a great refresher but may be one of many answers to the disconnection problems where therapy is needed. If you have trouble connecting as a loving couple, consider using Marriage in a Box for helpful suggestions to guidance through the stages of reconnection.
Marriage In a Box is an excellent resource that provides access to the simple tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards and find Marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
It is essential to share your retirement hopes and dreams and find a future that both of you can be excited about. Many people face the first years together after one, or both spouses have retired as a time of change and are unprepared for the reality of spending so much time together. In addition to adjusting to new schedules, retired spouses may face an identity crisis.
If either of you derived a large part of your self-esteem and enjoyment from being able to do your jobs well, then you may feel a sense of loss and, in some cases, grief from the career and working life that you are leaving behind. In the face of stresses like these, sometimes marriages falter and fail. Both you and your spouse should continue to pursue your interests. Doing so improves your feelings about yourself and gives you something fresh and new to share.
Discussing retirement as a couple
- Talk about retirement before it happens and try to agree on a shared retirement vision you both want.
- As you go through this adjustment period, share your emotions as you realign expectations, schedules, and interests.
- Discuss your finances and how you want to manage them post-retirement.
- It works well when both spouses understand their financial situation and agree upon boundaries to reduce conflicts over money.
- Continue to do the activities and interests you have always loved and discuss new activities you may want to do together.
Financial Planning for Retirement
Discuss when you want to retire as a couple and how you can take what you've done individually for retirement and create one solid plan. Anticipate living on a fixed income and talk about how your available funds will change and how to adjust your spending habits accordingly. Align yourselves together in terms of financial goals. Discuss how you want to spend your early, mid, and late retirement years. Consider selecting a financial advisor to maximize your financial freedom.
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship During Retirement
Sharing our thoughts and feelings with our partner will help clarify and strengthen your current and new relationship paths. We all want a partner that continues to grow as we age and take steps to secure that for ourselves. Pursuing some of your interests, maintaining separate friendships, and doing things together is also good.
When considering retirement, many people focus on ensuring their finances are in order and ready to fund the lifestyle they hope to enjoy. While this is important, it's also wise to consider the emotional aspect of this significant life change. Discuss what's important for each of you and how you will accommodate each other. Have a place of personal space to reduce the tension that can come from having to spend a lot of time together within the same house.
After decades of working for a living, you'll likely experience many emotions when you retire. As with any significant change in life, you'll find different stages as you settle into a new day-to-day reality. Here are five stages you can expect to encounter and suggestions for ways you can help to prepare yourself.
1. Realization
When your retirement date arrives, you will likely feel mixed emotions. It is hard to say goodbye to coworkers, and facing an unknown future may be daunting. Before your retirement date, plan how to fill in all the free hours you suddenly have.
2. Honeymoon period
In this time frame, retirement feels full of freedom and choice. There's no need to set an alarm or rush out the door and face yet another commute. You may pick up a new hobby, enjoy a holiday, or spend quality time with family and friends.
3. Disenchantment
As the gloss of retirement starts to wear off, you may feel bored, lack direction, and possibly suffer from depression. To avoid things becoming too mundane, make a new plan and find ways to mix things up a bit. Expand your friendship circle, take up a new hobby, or find a fresh challenge.
4. Reorientation
You may find you're ready to make some adjustments to improve your happiness and fulfillment in retirement. Finding a new challenge, taking on some part-time or consultancy work, volunteering your time, and getting involved in a charity or local initiative. Discuss what you're passionate about and what excites you, and engage in that. Understanding this can help you avoid the sense of loss many people experience when they retire.
Staying Active and Engaged in Retirement
Planning things to look forward to and ways to stay active in retirement is essential. You can join clubs, church activities, fitness centers, or the YMCA to help you stay fit. As parents, we still nurture adult children in many ways, and as grandchildren enter the picture, discuss how much time you want to spend caregiving. Expectations around who's doing what with household chores are also a hot topic.
It will take time to discuss and develop new mindsets and routines and adjust to economic changes in your marriage at retirement. You may find help from a counselor or therapist to help and support you through this process to adapt and evolve as a couple. A professional can guide you through challenging stages and help you find joy.
Marriage in a Box provides helpful tips and suggestions on working through this time frame. It is an excellent resource with simple professional marriage tools, coaching, and strategies on the site. You will be able to set goals, earn rewards and check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Maintaining good health and caring for yourself and each other is vital for a happy and successful marriage. Physical health is fundamental to a general sense of well-being and impacts your marriage relationship in many ways. Good health and feeling better about yourself go hand in hand, as do sleeping better, having more energy, and having an enhanced sex life. Husbands and wives can care for each other lovingly by encouraging each other to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. They can remind each other of needed health appointments.
We all face health challenges occasionally; spouses are affected when one or the other feel bad physically. Giving each other grace in the tough seasons is essential, but it's also fair to take responsibility for maintaining your health according to your age and stage in life. If you can find an exercise or sport you both enjoy, you can encourage each other in healthy habits while having fun together. Relationships are part of our foundation for health and well-being, and they can come in many forms, including family, friends, colleagues, and intimate partners.
Strategies for Prioritizing Health in Marriage.
The five pillars of balanced health are movement, nutrition, sleep, stress management, and social connection. We can borrow or trade some balance in one area for another, but when we take too much from too many of these fundamentals, we start to see a decline in overall health.
A. Exercise Together.
Adults who sit less and do moderate-to-vigorous physical activity gain health benefits like:
- Improved brain health.
- Weight management.
- Reduced illness.
- Strengthened bones and muscles.
- Enhanced ability to perform everyday activities.
Everyone benefits from physical activity regardless of age, abilities, ethnicity, shape, or size. After a session of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity, immediate benefits can help keep your thinking, learning, and judgment skills sharp now and as you age. It reduces depression and anxiety and improves sleep.
Both eating patterns and physical activity routines are critical in weight management. To maintain weight, moderate physical activity up to thirty minutes daily and five times weekly, including dancing, yard work, or walking. People vary in how much physical activity they need to manage weight.
B. Eat Healthy.
Your body likes consistency regarding when and what you eat. Eating healthy foods regularly, such as lean meat, vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and water to flush and hydrate, will give you the nutrients to support your body's vital functions and balance your mental well-being. Overeating or skipping meals has metabolic consequences that can upset your physical and psychological health.
C. Get Enough Sleep.
The average hours of sleep needed is eight to be alert and healthy. Your body likes a consistent sleep pattern. Many negative symptoms can erupt from an irregular or disrupted sleep cycle, such as fatigue, issues with memory, emotional instability, and moodiness, and even an increase in illnesses. Both you and your partner must be well-rested.
D. Reduce Stress
Management of stress, both physical and mental, is crucial for balanced health. Physical stress at work and home can lead to overuse injuries, while accumulated mental stressors can affect our emotions and physical health. Anxiety or even perceived stress can drastically alter our cardiovascular and nervous systems. Managing our stressors with exercise, diet, and sleep, alongside other modalities like meditation and breathing exercises, can help balance our stress.
E. Increase Social Connections
Time spent socially with partners, friends, and family is crucial for more balanced health. Social connection, laughter, and touch release various feel-good hormones like oxytocin and neurotransmitters, reducing blood pressure, anxiety, and feelings of depression. When we spend time together, natural pain-killing chemicals called endorphins are released, producing a sense of happiness and euphoria.
Managing Health Conditions
Chronic pain is not just the physical "hurt" experienced by people living with it; but the toll it inflicts on their most important relationships. It also creates a challenge in performing daily, social, or work-related activities. It can trigger the development of anxiety, depression, and anger.
Each of us knows someone dealing with the isolation and loneliness of chronic pain. We have learned from research that loneliness and isolation heighten our risk of almost every disease, both physical and mental, significantly impacting our life satisfaction, self-worth, and life expectancy. Some strategies for managing health conditions, include:
- Set goals with your healthcare team.
- Establish your support system.
- Simplify your daily medication routine.
- Use technology to your advantage, phone reminders, etc.
- Remember that lifestyle changes are essential.
There can't be enough said about maintaining good health and its impact on a happy marriage. You may find help from a counselor or therapist to help and support you through seeking better health as a couple. They can help guide you through the challenging stages of breaking bad health habits and engaging in good ones.
Marriage in a Box can support you if you need helpful coaching suggestions on working through this. Marriage In a Box is a resource that gives you access to tools and strategies professional marriage counselors use for relationship challenges. Coaching is also available on the site. Check out the kit and sources of information online.
