Traveling with the kids has its challenges. Packing and carrying all the extra gear for little ones like strollers, toys, diapers, etc. does not exactly put you in the mood for romance. However, a family vacation is not just for the kids. Mom & Dad need vacation time too and some time for each other. It’s important for your children to see that you love each other in order for them to feel secure. You are also providing a picture of a healthy marital relationship for your kids. So, how can you sneak a little romance into that family vacation?
Plan ahead to include some romance in your Family vacation. Consider sleeping arrangements, such as adjoining hotel rooms or a hotel suite. If you cannot afford another hotel room or a suite, wait until the children are asleep and head down to the hotel bar. Some vacation hotels have supervised kid clubs where you can drop the kids off for a few hours for a fee and go off on your own for a little romance.
Incorporate small little “love winks” into your day with the family. As you spend time on the beach with the family, chase your spouse into the water for a quick embrace. If you are hiking in a national park, hold hands as you walk or give your spouse a love peck on the cheek. Take some time while you inch your way through the lines at the amusement park to put your arms around your spouse’s shoulders and hug. Little “love winks” let your partner know that you are thinking about them, wanting them, and loving them.
Go ahead and flirt with your spouse. When you were dating, there was a lot of flirting going on before any physical romance took place. Time to drag that flirt out of the closet and spring it on your spouse. Whisper something sexy in their ear as you brush past them in the hotel room. Snuggle up against them on the beach as you watch the kids play. Say something suggestive in front of the kids and listen to your kids giggle as your spouse blushes. Flirting is a way of romancing your partner and showing them that you still have that “spark” for them.
Use your imagination and get creative. Wherever you are staying, even if it is a one room motel room, you can create a little romance. Put the kids down to sleep and grab a bottle of wine or a cocktail and a candle and slip out of the room to the balcony. Light the candle, open the wine and enjoy gazing at the stars and cuddling together. If your room is near the motel pool, take a late-night dip in the pool and watch the temperature rise.
Stolen romantic moments that belong just to the two of you are the memories you carry for a lifetime. So go ahead and put some spice in your family vacation.
Most couples dread planning a summer vacation. There are so many options it is difficult to settle on just one. A vacation requires careful planning because there are so many details to manage to avoid potential conflict and overspending. While many spouses let one handle the vacation details, it is a much better idea to plan the vacation together.
Here are some ground rules for planning the vacation with your spouse.
Don’t take over the decision making. You both should discuss what things you want from your vacation and any concerns you have about the vacation. You both want to be on the same page about where you are going, what you are going to do there, and how much you have to spend.
Be prepared to compromise. Each of you has unique tastes and preferences, but you want to make sure that everyone will be happy with the vacation arrangements. Respect your spouse’s opinion and be willing to give a little to make it work.
Don’t argue or fight over the small things. If you cannot agree on something about the vacation plan, agree to discuss that item at a later time and keep planning the vacation.
As you plan, remember that the more decisions you make ahead of vacation time, the fewer conflicts you will have to deal with on vacation.
Take time to Dream.
Choosing a destination is the starting point for any vacation plan, because it determines everything else. Use your imagination as you discuss memories of places you went as a child, places you always wanted to go, or the type of vacation. Do you want to rent a house, a hotel room, a condo and plan your own activities? Perhaps you would like a cruise or vacation club where everything is included.
Decide your vacation budget and stick to it. You and your spouse can decide how much you have available to spend for vacation. Have some fun researching and sharing what you find on the internet for transportation, places to stay, restaurants, can’t miss things to see and do. Sit down together and develop a budget and don’t forget to include “mad money” for must have kid toys etc.
Identify possible argument hot buttons ahead of time and make a plan to avoid them.
Don’t expect mom to cook every meal while on vacation. If you rent a house or condo, plan to shop for or bring food that you know everyone will eat and keep it simple. If you plan to stay in a hotel, chose one with breakfast included so everyone will have a variety to choose from. Scout out restaurants with a variety of food for everyone in your budget range in the area of your vacation destination. Decide where to eat each day or night before you get there.
Keep in mind the ages of your children when planning vacation activities. You may really want to go water skiing, however, if your children are all under the age of 8, you may want to take a babysitter or grandparents along so they can watch the little ones while you go do some “grown up” activities. On the flip side, older children are easily bored, so plan to keep them busy with sightseeing or adventure activities.
Space and Downtime. Whenever is crammed into a tiny hotel room together, tempers can flare. Get adjoining rooms or rent something with some extra space. It’s tempting to want to go-go-go while one vacation, everyone gets cranky when they miss a nap or don’t get enough sleep. Build time in the vacation schedule each day for downtime.
The simple act of planning a vacation with your spouse can bring you closer together and you can enjoy it as much as the vacation itself.
Who doesn’t love a good fairytale? Princes and Princesses fall in love at first sight. The Prince conquers some evil witch or stepmother or other evil does bent on doing the princess harm and wins the hand of the princess. They get married and live happily ever after. Real life love between two people is not that simple.
Love does not just happen.
In fairytales, people fall in love at first sight. In real life, however, people rarely fall in love at first sight. You may be attracted to one another at first sight but real love is when you know someone’s weaknesses and don’t take advantage of them. It means knowing that we all have flaws in our personality but we are willing to accept and love a person for who they are.
Love isn’t just physical attraction.
Over time, physical attraction can dim but that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. As you grow as a couple, you learn more about each other’s likes and dislikes. You go out of your way to keep the spark of love alive in your relationship. Do little things everyday for each other that endear you to one other like sending a text, email or calling to let them know you are thinking of them. It’s the efforts that you put in to the relationship to make each other happy.
Love isn’t one partner fighting the battle.
Life will often throw surprises, obstacles and challenges into your path. You cannot expect your partner to solve the problems and issues by themselves. Walking through the hard times together, communicating honestly and openly, and participating in the decision making process is what makes your love stronger.
Don’t strive for a fairy tale love. Instead, both partners must be willing to accept one another, work together in both good times and bad, and make an effort every day to show each other how much you care. That is what makes happily-ever-after love.
Many couples do not get the opportunity to spend a great deal of quality time together, especially time where they are alone and free of interruptions. Too often life gets in the way and our children, careers, extended families and other obligations become prioritized over our relationship. It is because of this that couples may stop dating and struggle to keep romance an active part of their relationship, with the exceptions of Valentine’s Day, birthdays or anniversaries, of course. Romance is often part of the reason that two people fell in love and can help to keep the relationship from feeling stale. Follow some of the tips below to help keep romance alive in your relationship all year through.
Social interactions are a vital part of most people’s lives. We begin making friends almost as soon as we’re born and continue doing so throughout our lives. Some lucky individuals are able to maintain lifelong friendships that continuously change as life becomes more complicated and time consuming. It is important for people to expect that some friendships will change when in a long term relationship or after marriage.
Some couples share common interests and hobbies, while others do not. As a couples therapist, I frequently hear couples tell me that they struggle to find things to do during their quality time together. One partner may love to do something, while the other may loathe it. Compromise becomes a difficult albeit important piece of their relationship.
Today’s society offers each of us the world at our fingertips through the use of smart phones, tablets, computers, smart watches and any other new technologies that may arise. Being a part of a very connected world offers new opportunities for us to meet people and begin relationships in ways never before imagined. We are able to get acquainted with people that we may never have otherwise met and technology allows us to spend more time getting to know people without spending hours on the phone or needing a face to face interaction.
