Marriage In A Box Logo


Written by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, the Marriage in a Box blog shares insights into common relationship struggles, gives ideas for moving beyond the roadblocks, and helps you find your path to happiness – both individually and within your relationship.

Trust and Respect are Essential in Marriage

Webster defines the word "respect" as; prizing, cherishing, and valuing or giving particular attention, consideration, or high esteem. Respecting each other means admiring your partner's abilities, qualities, and achievements and considering their feelings, wishes, and boundaries. Respect for each other also involves avoiding harm to them or interfering with their values, things, and people who are important to them.

Respect and trust are critical factors to having a healthy relationship that will stand over time and the challenges life brings. Respecting yourself and your values, standards, opinions, and boundaries must be foremost. If you do not respect yourself, you will do and say things that invite disrespect from others. It is vital to act in ways that allow your partner to maintain a healthy respect for you.

 A lack of respect is a common reason why many relationships fail. In a relationship, respect can be crucial in accepting each other, communicating openly, and building trust. While the absence of respect can lead to conflict, hurt feelings, and even the destruction of the relationship. Respecting each other's personal needs and opinions improves connection and takes it to a completely different level allowing each of you to feel safe, secure, and loved,

What is Trust?

Webster's definition of trust is the reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone. Trust is a cornerstone of a relationship; without it, the relationship will lack stability, and the couple will be uncomfortable with each other. In a trusting relationship, we feel secure to place our confidence in our partner because they have our best interest and will be loyal. It allows us to express our feelings openly and honestly because our partner is supportive. 

After you feel trust with someone, you will then be able to commit. Building trust comes as we learn about our partners and how predictable they are. If our partners consistently have our best interests at heart, we learn to trust them. As slow as trust builds, it can dissolve just as quickly. Listen with an open mind. Be willing to trust and be authentic and supportive of each other.

What Happens when trust breaks down?

When we don't trust our partners, we exaggerate and discount their negative behaviors. Positives have much less weight than negatives, and we're more likely to question the worth of the relationship constantly. While a breakdown in trust can result from indiscretions by one or both spouses, this is not always the case. Some people need help trusting people and may not trust their partner whether that person is trustworthy.

People with trust issues often employ specific patterns of thinking and acting that complicate relationships. They tend to be Low-trust people who have mistrust that clouds their perceptions.


Mistrust causes:

  •  Trouble communicating.
  • Constant questioning of their partner's motives.
  • Tendency to be highly critical.
  • Overreaction to minor indiscretions. 
  • Refrain from giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Their relationship can be exasperating as they feel punished or criticized for no reason, yet guilty and powerless to fix a problem that doesn't exist.

What is Respect?

The definition of respect, also called esteem, is giving particular consideration and attention to someone with high or special regard. Mutual respect is treating each other thoughtfully and courteously. If you treat your spouse or partner respectfully, you are doing things like:

  • Considering their opinion.
  • Consulting with your spouse before making decisions that affect them.
  • Taking an active interest in your partner's life (work, interests, and daily activities).
  • Negotiating and compromising with your partner about important issues that affect you and other family members.

What Happens When Respect is Absent in the Marriage?

Day-to-day stresses and strains can chip away at respect over time. These issues can cause spouses to:

  • Be Irritable, negative, and disrespectful.
  • Vent frustrations on their partner.
  • Show an inability to resolve or manage conflicts or differences. 

Partners can become increasingly pessimistic and disrespectful to each creating a vicious cycle. Anger and frustration, expressed in negative and blaming ways, can start the process of negative interactions and result in the loss of respect. These are only a few ways that respect can evaporate a marriage or relationship.

Steps to Rebuilding Trust and Respect.

  1. Be Honest.

Do what you said you'd do, be emotionally honest during conversations, and don't forget the negative impact of little white lies. Frequent white lies can quickly erode trust in a relationship.

  1. Make sure Your Words consistently match your actions.

In any meaningful relationship, trust will grow when your words consistently match your actions. Conversely, you'll form a breach if you do one thing and say another. Correcting your actions when they differ from your words can allow trust to develop again. Focus on doing what you say you will do and keeping your promises.

  1. When you do make a mistake, own up to it and apologize.

The inability to admit fault can put you at risk of losing your spouse's confidence. Nobody's perfect, and willingness to admit you messed up plays a big part in building trust as it shows your partner you care about your relationship more than being right. 

  1. Make connecting with your spouse a priority.

Life with little kids can be challenging, and you may need to make time with your partner. Prioritizing a connection is essential in maintaining a sense of trust. If your partner feels distant from you, trusting you will be challenging, even if your intentions are good. Even occasionally connecting amidst the chaos of parenting can restore trust in your relationship.

If you have trouble finding trust and respect as a couple, you should seek counseling. A professional can guide you through the steps to re-establishing trust and respect and help you find joy in your union. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 4/26/2023

How to Get Past that "Stuck" Feeling in Marriage.

You know you're in a slump when you feel stagnant or stuck with your partner. You may feel bored, disconnected, lonely, and lack physical or emotional connection. Like all other relationships, marriages have ups and downs, with periods of closeness and distance that are nothing to fret about. These rough patches are often due to miscommunication, lack of quality time, and differing love languages. It takes both partners in a marriage to address the issues and commit to making the relationship work. 

Potential Causes of Feeling Stuck in a Marriage.

Even strong people in well-matched unions can sometimes feel unhappy. Research suggests it's common for happiness to decline in the initial years of marriage.

Potential causes for this decline in a long-term relationship include:

  • Mismatched sexual or emotional needs.

  • Conflicting values.

  • A communication breakdown.

  • Trust issues.

  • Differing parenting styles.

  • Incompatibility in your personalities or lifestyles.

Despite these difficulties, you may stay in the partnership for several reasons, such as:

  • Concerns about divorce's financial effects.

  • Wanting to maintain a specific lifestyle for your kids.

  • Pressure from your families to stay together.

  • Fear of being alone.

What's more, you may still love and care about your partner deeply, despite your current challenges, and hold on to hope that things will get better. In many partnerships, relationship quality improves for couples who stay together through a challenging period, though this can take some effort on both sides.

Are Your Marriage Problems Workable or Toxic?

Lasting unhappiness in your marriage can affect your emotional and physical health and overall quality of life. It's important to distinguish between workable problems and problems that characterize toxic relationships that would signal you to end the relationship. Characteristics of toxic relationships include emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, cheating, lying, and unwillingness to put in the effort.

These problems may not be fixable and could indicate that you should leave the marriage. An unhealthy relationship can become healthy if you and your partner are honest with yourselves and do the challenging emotional work to make changes. 

Ways to Get "Unstuck."

Start Designating Time for a Check-In with Your Spouse.

Addressing communication problems through communication building will look different for every couple; a tried and true solution is regularly taking time out of your day, week, or month to check in with your spouse about their emotions, expectations, and feelings. Effective communication can be embedded into your routine and ensure you and your spouse can express your feelings openly. 

Don't Play the Blame Game. Take Responsibility.

When people are in a relationship rut, there is a tendency to point out what the other person is doing wrong, leading to anger and resentment. It is better to forgive and think about ways to improve your relationship and play a role that will bring energy, hope, and new life into your relationship. Blaming others may make you feel like you have no control over your life and choices.

Remember What It Was Like When You Fell in Love.

Often, the first year of a relationship contains beautiful memories and emotions. As couples work to grow closer to each other emotionally, they often re-discover why they fell in love in the first place. In the early days of a relationship, both partners felt like they mattered to the other. Healing happens when each owns and has empathy for how they have taken the other for granted and have fallen into negative patterns of anger, arguing, conflict, and hurting each other.

Take Steps to Try to Reconnect with Your Spouse.

Life can get hectic, making it easy to take your marriage for granted, so prioritize your relationship by checking in on your partner's feelings. Date nights are another way to focus on your relationship. A date night can be anything from ordering food to be delivered, cooking a meal together, seeing a movie, or eating out. 

Sometimes you need to take things to the next level by taking a long weekend or even a week for some necessary quality time with your spouse that can help you rekindle the romance and sort through some things in a new environment. It doesn't matter what you do; it just matters that you and your partner are spending time together. Quality time is the basis of a good relationship; cultivating this bond will help you feel close to your partner. 

Focus on Changes You Can Make Within to Get Unstuck.

If you don't like the way your marriage is going, take inventory and make changes within since you can't change your spouse by controlling them. Changing yourself will result in a different outcome. Whether or not your spouse changes in response, your future will be happier and more satisfying. What your relationship looks like in the future is not guaranteed, but changing yourself will ensure both you and your connection will be healthier than it is now.

Get Professional Marriage Counseling Help.

 Marriage and couples counseling or coaching can help couples with problems, but it may also help stable, happy couples deepen their bonds and avoid future disasters. Getting out of a stuck place in your marriage is very important. It requires good communication techniques and openness to restore happiness in your marriage and family bond. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 4/19/2023

Fight Fair with Your Spouse

Marriage partners will always have different thoughts, feelings, or values, even if you have much in common. Your differences may create healthy debates over politics, current events, or other situations and keep life interesting. Other times, conflicts may be over things like children, in-laws, tasks, and other everyday occurrences. Things may become heated, but as long as they stay respectful, these can be meaningful learning moments because they teach you valuable communication skills. Anyone in a relationship needs to work on healthy fighting in some capacity.

Be Mindful of Serious Damage to Your Marriage in Arguments.

According to psychologists, relationships fail because of trust issues, unmet expectations, and compatibility, to name a few. Frequent arguing can lead to a troubled relationship and, if handled poorly, could end the relationship altogether. While fighting in a relationship is normal, there are ways to stop and take your conflict with poise and understanding.

It's Not Whether You Win or Lose. 


Challenging each other intellectually with healthy debates helps you identify how your partner communicates. It shows how the other person deals with agreeing to disagree and when you should react or end the conversation. Staying calm shows self-control and an ability to handle a difference of opinion without leading to an argument. Learning some fair fighting rules can help you resolve conflicts or agree to disagree in a healthy, constructive way without hurting your partnership.

Six Rules for Fighting Fair.

1.Make Sure you know what you want from your partner.

Your partner cannot read your mind, so clearly tell them what you need. Whether it's something concrete or emotional, it will let your partner know how to make you happier and prevent future arguments. 

2.    Avoid monopolizing the conversation with a tirade.

It can be unpleasant when someone speaks over you or begins talking about themselves when trying to convey your feelings. Allowing your partner the courtesy to complete their thoughts during any argument is essential to ensure they feel heard, valued, and appreciated. Acknowledge that you understand and respect their point of view and ask them why they think the way they feel before you disagree.

3. Listen to what your partner is upset about before responding.

Look out for the interests of your spouse, as one of the components that can lead to an unfair fight is usually selfishness. The results will contradict the couple's well-being when looking out for their interests rather than their spouse's. It is wise to check your motives before engaging.

To be a good listener, give your partner uninterrupted time to talk. Great listeners are slow to speak, so they take in what their spouse is saying. When your spouse talks, do you listen or begin forming a rebuttal? The other thing great listeners do is ask great questions. Seek to understand by asking questions that lead your spouse to feel heard.

4. Don't drag in the past. Stick to the current issue at hand.

 Don't Bring Up Past Arguments. While building your case with past offenses is tempting, it may remind your spouse of all the areas they failed in the marriage. Fighting fair in marriage involves grace and love in abundance. Choose to stay on topic rather than bring up the past.

5. Attack the issue, not each other.

As spouses, you are on the same team with dreams of facing this world together. Fighting fair in marriage always includes being respectful and considerate. Remember, your goal is resolution. Anger can harden hearts, whereas respect leads to a solution. Don't let your emotions dictate your behavior; maintain a respectful demeanor. If overheated, stop action, take a time out, and agree to return to the game as soon as possible. Often taking a 15-minute break will allow you to continue productively.

6. Remember, the goal is to find an agreeable solution.

Strive to come to mutually beneficial solutions. Negotiate, barter, compromise, sacrifice, and be creative in this process. You may have to let go of things you want, but you can find happiness. Consider being happy over being correct, which will help keep the peace. When you get through a challenging conflict, make sure that you celebrate together! 

Trying to reach a compromise in conflicting situations takes time and effort. It can be challenging to get each other on the same page. Maintaining your marriage and family bond requires skillful communication techniques and a lot of openness. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 4/12/2023

Will a Spring Getaway Help or Harm Your Marriage?

Daily routines like cleaning, running errands, spending time with family, and even date nights can develop a rote quality. The daily routines and stressors of life can dampen romance and connection. Vacations with your partner may be a time of refreshing and a chance to reignite your relationship and spark. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, just a weekend away from what has become mundane. A romantic getaway is a time to keep things light and positive. 

Ways a Spring Getaway Can Help Your Marriage

Being in a Beautiful Place Can Create an Opportunity to Reconnect.

Being together in a scenic and serene setting can bring peace and create an opportunity to focus on each other and reconnect on an intimate level. A beautiful vacation location and change of scenery can inspire couples to take up activities that would foster qualities that initially drew them to one another.

Vacation is a Chance for Personal Relaxation.

Couples may find that being on vacation carries no pressure to do anything or be anywhere on time and allows for personal relaxation. Vacation gives couples a break from their routines and fosters relaxing activities, like nature walks, afternoon naps, breakfast in bed, and massage. A vacation can help couples experience the good in life, revive their romance and deepen their connection.

Travel Can ignite Romance and Intimacy.

A positive correlation exists between high relationship satisfaction and using travel to improve romance. These trips together give much-needed time away from stressors and other demands so couples can focus on each other and experience fun and positive energy. Romantic couples' trips together are essential for sparking romance and sexuality more than couples who do not travel together. 

Ways A Spring Getaway Can Harm Your Marriage.

Travel Can Be Stressful and Exhausting.

Some vacations can be very tiring. Going from city to city and place to place with little time to catch your breath can be fun but exhausting. Unfortunately, when tired, we tend to lash out at our partners, and poor sleep leads to more negative interactions with partners, which may fuel more sleeplessness the next night.

Travel increases opportunities for conflict due to increased interdependence.

We may have more conflicts with our partners because we are highly interdependent during travel. What one partner does has a significant effect on the other partner. Couples must negotiate every decision together during the journey. Even daily disputes over how to spend leisure time are common. 

A Getaway Takes You out of Your Routine and Comfort Zone.

Embrace the good and the bad of your partner; you will have some beautiful moments but don't expect everything to be rosy. Every second of your trip will not be glamour and romance because sometimes:

  1. There are delayed flights. 

  2. One or the other may get lost.

  3. There can be frustrations with language.

All these things can kill romance. Travel has an inherent advantage: it constantly adds excitement and novelty to your life. Some level of routine is acceptable, but don't get so caught up in the daily routine and schedule that you forget:

  • spontaneity

  • romance 

  • small loving gestures.

Try to shake things up and consider what that means to you and your partner. 

How To Ensure Your Vacation Is a Happy One.

Make Planning the Vacation Itinerary a Couple's Activity.

It can deepen your intimate connection to ask and listen to each other about your desires for this vacation. Once you know what your partner wants from the holiday, you can create a mutually beneficial plan. Make choosing a destination, lodging, and forming an itinerary part of the fun. Couples should also discuss their expectations for the trip and be specific about how they want to feel when they return home. 

Provide Room for Downtime.

Instead of a packed itinerary, maximize downtime and focus on a relaxing experience with your partner. If you plan too much, you'll focus on adhering to the schedule rather than being present and taking in the experience. Give yourself a chance to feel all the experiences with your partner and create memories while on vacation.

Choose some Activities new to Both of You.

Choosing a new activity for both of you can deepen your emotional connection. Whatever activity you choose, be it ziplining, walking in nature, or a winery tour, ensure it's a new experience for both of you. Free yourself of your daily roles at home and bring in the playful parts of you: the adventurer, the lover, the free spirit.

Spend time talking and listening together.

Couples need to spend time together while on vacation, discussing how to keep the connection alive in their daily lives and renew their commitment. Practice active listening as a couple and plan time to put the phones away. Have an undistracted conversation and practice active listening and mindful presence with each other.

Focus on showing each other love. 

Talk about when you first met and what you loved about each other to remember what attracted you. Take up activities on your vacation that foster the qualities that initially drew you to one another. Take time to hold hands, kiss, and hug without pressure to have sex. Vacation is an excellent way to focus on showing love through the other person's love language or how they show their love (whether it be gifts, acts of service, affirming words, touch, or quality time together).

A couple's getaway is great for refreshing your intimacy and connection. If you continue to have trouble connecting as a loving couple, consider using Marriage in a Box for helpful advice and suggestions to guide you through the stages of reconnecting.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 3/29/2023

Healthy Communication is Essential to a Healthy Marriage

Poor Communication makes Everything more Difficult!

Having quality communication skills can decrease difficulties in your marriage and make things go smoother. So many areas require good communication to solve problems with parenting, finances, and resolving conflicts. Communication is a common problem area cited when seeking counseling. Couples can make great strides in communication by simply evaluating and eliminating the communication habits that hinder healthy conversation in their relationship. Marriages are not without arguments or breakdowns in communication. 

How we communicate about conflicts defines a marriage. Often, the communication stops moving forward and leads to breakdown when criticism, stonewalling, or defensiveness becomes frequent in your dialogues. If your communication skills aren't perfect, you can continually improve them. Since you are married, you probably know how your partner acts during a fight, what sets them off, and what calms them down. Ending an argument before it gets too heated is a good practice.

How You Express your Emotions is an essential part of healthy communication.

The key to communicating effectively in a marriage is active listening which involves intently and mindfully paying attention to your partner.

Some factors in active listening include:

  • your tone of voice

  • written communication or text

  • body language

  • touch

  • silence

Reflective listening helps clarify their partner's feelings, needs, and expectations. This skill allows your partner to feel understood, heard, and valued. Another mistake that leads to misunderstandings is not closing the circle of communication.


One way to do this is through closed loop communication

 It's a 3-step process where:


  • The communicator uses their partner's name to convey what they want to say.

  • The listener gives verbal confirmation that the message is understood.

  • The communicator confirms that the listener understood correctly, closing the communication loop.


Steps for Healthy Communication

1.Acknowledge that there is a problem.

We can learn new behaviors if we admit there is a problem and are willing to put in the time and effort needed. Lowering our ego and pride can help improve communication with our partners.

2.Schedule Time with your partner to discuss your feelings.

It is essential to have a conversation at the right time for both of you. Starting a conversation with your partner when they are tired, angry, or just having a bad day is counterproductive and adds additional pressure. Patience and understanding are minimal at these times and can create a more hostile environment. Starting a meaningful conversation when someone is falling asleep or leaving for work is not recommended either. Choose times when you can contribute the necessary time and patience to discuss and resolve an issue. 

3.Express your needs or wants clearly.

Be specific.

 Be specific when communicating with your spouse. Do not assume they have read your mind or know what you want. When issues come up, be precise, it is not helpful to use broad generalizations.

Avoid mind-reading.

It is frustrating when someone acts like they know what you are thinking better than you do.

4.Express Negative Feelings Constructively.

There will be times when you feel bitter, resentful, disappointed, and disapprove. These negative feelings must be communicated constructively and dealt with for a change to occur. "I feel.." statements are healthy ways to convey negative feelings.

5.Discuss your feelings using "I feel.." statements.

If you believe your feelings are not being taken into consideration by your partner, it may be that you're not expressing yourself constructively. Your partner might have trouble validating your feelings but realize you do not control their reactions. On the other hand, the way you express yourself is solely within your control. Try not to project your feelings through criticism onto your partner when you want to get your point across.

Instead, focus on your feelings about the issue and ask how to find a respectful, mutually satisfactory resolution together. When you talk to your spouse using "I" statements, raise an issue without playing the blame game. Your spouse has room to realize that a problem is important to you without feeling judged or attacked. 

6.Be willing to Listen to their feedback.

Be prepared to hear feedback, as communication is a two-way process. When you share your feelings, your partner will most likely have a reaction they want to share with you too. Set some time aside later so your partner can share their impressions, and you can listen to them this time. 

7.Remember to express your affection for your partner.

Physical closeness with your partner does your heart good. Studies conclude that women who spend short periods of affection with their partner can lower anxiety levels and boost oxytocin to improve overall mental well-being and physical health. It's no surprise, therefore, that physical intimacy fosters healthy communication between spouses.


 Remember to show affection every day. Small gestures like a hug or a quick kiss make you feel more connected to your partner. If you've been arguing a lot due to communication issues, chances are you've distanced yourselves from each other over time. However, as your connection strengthens, you and your partner will begin to show affection in a way that feels natural again.

8. Provide Open Space for each other.

Provide an open safe space, privacy, and a welcoming attitude for the two of you to communicate. Avoid spying and checking your partner's messages to ensure your relationship is free of deceit and doubts, and give loving trust so you can thrive as a couple.

If you have trouble communicating as a loving couple, consider seeking counseling. A professional can guide you through the challenging stages of reconnecting and help you find joy in those small loving gestures over time. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 3/23/2023

Are You on the Same Page With Your Spouse?

Humans develop and evolve daily, and our values and needs can change over time. Therefore, it's not a surprise that staying on the same page with our partners is a challenge. Being on the same page involves being aligned on the things that matter to you and your future, such as lifestyle, kids, money, and friends. Needs in a healthy marriage involve trust, shared values, and a respectful connection. To avoid conflict, ensure your list matches your partner as closely as possible. 

Six Reasons Partners May Not Get What They Need from Their Marriage

1. They Don't Know What We Want.

Try making a list of your wants and write why they are essential. Clarity means you clearly understand what you desire from your relationship so that you can move forward. 

2. They Don't Know How to Ask for Help

It might seem overwhelming to find the right words to express our feelings. Knowing the exact words is less important than the attitude we present when making our needs known.

3. They Aren't Sure It Will Change Anything

Many couples sabotage their marriage by failing to push through barriers and open the conversation. Knowing our partner hears our needs is the thing that keeps the conversation moving forward. When that is gone, it strips us of the desire to try.

4. They Are Afraid of What Their Spouse Will Think

Fearing rejection keeps us from opening our hearts and meeting our needs to move our relationship forward as a couple. Marriage should be the safety zone where we can freely express our needs, desires, and wishes. When this freedom is not there, it is a sign of trust issues that can affect every aspect of married life.

5. They Feel Guilty for Wanting What We Want

If feeling guilty keeps us from expressing our needs, a negative cycle can form that keeps us in a downward spiral of unfulfilled desires and unmet needs. Part of the beauty of a marriage partnership is that our needs are known, and our partner responds positively.


6. They Want Their Spouse to Be Genuine in Meeting Their Needs

We don't want the meeting their needs to be a burden or obligation, so we withhold asking for what we need and want. It is not fair to expect our spouse to read our minds. Being clear about our needs and desires allows them to love us well.

Wants vs. Needs in a Relationship

A need in a marriage is something you must have, whereas a want is something you desire. A relationship feels safer and more secure when needs, boundaries, and expectations are known. Wants are desires, but things will still be good if they aren't present.

The Danger of Unmet Needs in Your Marriage

Your brain pursues romantic love with long-term intentions. Being in love benefits your physical and mental well-being, self-esteem, and relationship satisfaction. We know that effective relationship communication is essential for happiness and longevity in the marriage. Healthy relationships meet the basic needs of each partner involved by supporting, sharing, and giving to one another.

How to Talk to Your Spouse About What You Need & Want.

  • Figure out your priorities so you know what you want.

It will help if your needs are listed and prioritized so you can talk to your partner about               what you want and need and have clarity.

  • Practice the talk. 

  • Choose the right time and place

  • Learn how to communicate assertively.

  • Be specific and clear.

  • Ask for one thing at a time to avoid overload.

  • Let your partner know your boundaries. 

  • Avoid blame. Use" I "statements.

Marriage is a Two-way Street. Discuss Your and Their Needs and Wants.

When your partner responds to your wants and needs, hearing and responding to what they need is crucial. Listen to what your partner says with an open mind and respectful attitude and give as well as take.

Lovingly State What You Need and Listen for their Feedback.

Expressing your needs and wants with love and affection motivates your spouse to continue doing the same for you. In this way, you demonstrate your commitment and loyalty to them. 

What Happens When We Share our Wants and Needs with Our Spouses?

Loving your partner allows you to open yourself to them and discover your inner capacity for unconditional love, which can inspire your partner to do the same. For both partners to be and stay on the same page, they must understand and respond to each other's needs. Staying on the same page with our partners is demanding and requires constant communication and checking in with each other because humans can change over time.

Trying to be on the same page with your spouse is very important. Maintaining your marriage and family bond requires good communication techniques and a lot of openness. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online

Posted 3/17/2023

Fifteen Endearing Rituals That Will Strengthen Your Marriage

A long-lasting and secure relationship is about helping you and your partner know that they are the most important part of your life. Your partner needs to feel more important to you than anyone else. Spending time and energy on the relationship and making your words and actions consistent is necessary for your partner to feel loved. Relationship rituals become habits of the heart for romantic couples. Even the tiniest routine you develop carries a special meaning.  

What are relationship rituals?

Relationship rituals' definition includes dedicating a specific time, tradition, or holiday to the person you love. It could be as simple as meeting after work on Mondays to celebrate getting through the day. It makes that day more pleasant instead of the struggle typical of the first day of the week. Then, of course, you have traditional birthdays, anniversaries, celebrations, or any special event. Plus, couples develop their holiday routines apart from extended families. That includes spiritual rituals for couples, particularly during religious holidays. 

Why does every marriage need relationship rituals?

Rituals are essential to a relationship because they increase a couple's intimacy by strengthening the bond the mates have established. Keep these relationship rituals fresh and exciting by changing the small routines instead of continuing them. For instance, if you have a regular coffee date every Thursday, change it a little to stay fresh over time. Change the coffee date to a different day and make it frozen yogurt sundaes or iced lattes in the park.

 No one wants their long-term commitment to become predictable, dull, or grow into a slump. The idea is to look forward to fun activities in your relationship. Rituals involve specific actions that become crucial to the union. For most couples, it feels like a threat to the relationship when they don't occur. Traditions can quickly give warmth and good feelings, releasing a chemical in the brain known as the cuddle hormone. We become addicted and want more of this, making us feel more attached and connected. 

Fifteen Relationship Rituals

Maintaining rituals helps couples establish strong, healthy, and thriving partnerships that will grow stronger. Routines provide couples security, offer continuity of intimacy, and deepen the connection. Mutually creating a list of rituals helps couples establish those that will satisfy each mate to consider everyone's needs and wants.

  1. Quality Pillow Talk- Talk daily about future hopes and dreams, vacations, fantasies, secrets, and vulnerabilities without judgment.

  2. No digital electronics time- This is a good time for bonding rituals such as:

  • Cook dinner together.

  • Have an intimate evening of conversation and a beverage of choice.

  • Sit around the fire.

  • Enjoy a car ride in the country. 

  1. Time for exercise-Walk, jog, or hike, or go to the gym together.

  2. News sharing- When there is news, your mate should be the first you tell, not friends or family. 

  3. Daily say goodbye and hello- Use a hug/ kiss or soft words to start the day with affection.

  4. Small everyday gestures of caring-Give back rubs for relaxation, ask about your partner's day, and offer appreciation and encouragement. 

  5. Date Night-Keep things memorable, fresh, and fun. Use discounts like Groupon.

  6. Flirty Notes and Texts- A surprise note in your partner's lunch or on a mirror will let your mate know how special they are to you. The little things we do can do more for a relationship than buying an expensive gift. 

  7. Time to talk-Set aside time to chat. Let the kids know it's adult time. Take time to establish rules, such as no phones or electronic devices and limits on non-controversial or contentious subjects.

  8. Do something new together- take a dance class, boat, golf, share a hobby or take a college class.

  9. Celebrations- Holiday rituals and find other reasons to celebrate to keep positive energy flowing.

  10. Volunteer together-Give back to the community. (food bank, homeless shelter)

  11.  Non-sexual Affection- The focus is on the time you are spending and being affectionate with one another; non-sexual touch is essential such as cuddling and holding hands. Letting each other know how important you are to one another in physical ways is necessary. 

  12. Couples retreats or vacations-Small weekend excursions can refresh you.

  13. Sexual Intimacy. Keep intimate times fresh by trying new things periodically.

Consistent rituals strongly influence the warmth of your marriage and family bond. If you need helpful advice and suggestions on establishing them, consider Marriage in a Box.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 2/24/2023

Reignite the Passion in Your Marriage

Over time in a marriage, it is easy for things to become routine and for that spark to be lost that was there in the beginning. It is vital to keep the emotional and physical connection alive and work at keeping the passion from diminishing in a marriage. Studies have shown that sexual desire and satisfaction were higher among people who had intercourse frequently, and incorporated more variety, set the mood, and communicated about lovemaking. 

Sexual Intimacy Thrives on the Connection between Partners. 

One of the most obvious links between sex and emotional connection is that sexual desire has a chemical effect on our bodies and emotions. The release of a bonding hormone called oxytocin, occurs with positive touch and during sex. The release of oxytocin and other bonding and pleasure hormones can make casual sex fun, but it doesn't mean that love or affection will occur. However, in long-term romantic relationships, sex and emotional connection are entirely bound together.

Timing is Everything when it comes to Romance.

Timing is everything in relationships. It's essential to be in the right relationship at the right time. Our maturity level changes our wants and needs and determines our readiness for a relationship. It's important to be with someone who understands what you want and allows you to strive for it. Research shows that timing is vital to boost or undermine a relationship's commitment. A higher degree of readiness is associated with higher commitment to the relationship.

Put some Sexy in it to Create the Mood.

Making an effort to set the mood is vital. Setting the mood may mean keeping phones silent, and coordinating schedules. It's essential to have some calm, relaxing moments and enjoy ourselves and our partner. Setting the mood with candles, music, touching, kissing, and snuggling go a long way toward fueling passion. Open communication and soft affirmations with your partner also help set the mood. 

Communicate Openly about What you Need and Desire.

Openly communicate with your partner about what you desire so you're on the same page. If you wish to revitalize your sexual relationship, communication is critical. It is not the amount or quality of sexual relations that makes or breaks the marriage, but rather the degree of fit between partners' sexual needs and priorities. It may feel awkward initially, but such mutuality comes only with communication.

Provide Positive Encouragement with Whispered Affirmations.

All spouses want to be loved as a whole package and built up by their partners.

Sex positivity is a shame-free, empowering perspective that views consensual sexuality as a healthy, important part of our human experience. Being sexually positive includes being open-minded about gender identity or orientation, nudity, body positivity, medical issues, disabilities, etc. It doesn't matter what your sexual preferences are; the point is to embrace your sexual playfulness, wants, and needs without judging yourself or others. Sex positivity can help a person feel affirmed in a sexually marginalized group in that it promotes feeling comfortable about one's sexuality. To increase your mate's confidence, consider sending a sincere, sweet text, note, or whispering affirmations in their ear. Here are some examples: 

  • You look sexy.

  • I love it when you…

  • I love your kisses.

  • You make me smile when you…

  • I feel safe in your arms and next to you.

  • I am having the best time with you right now.

  • I love all of you.

  • I accept you exactly as you are without changing a thing.

Feel free to try something new-like role-playing.

Movie sex scenes are so sexy because of the acting. Ordinary people can get that same feeling with just a little role-playing. Role-playing with your partner can feel intimidating, weird, and awkward if you're new to it, but with practice and communication comes more naturally. Knowing what each of you hopes to get from the experience is essential. Your partner might want to add this to your usual rotation. Some people like to use role-playing to act out fantasies. Whatever you decide, make sure it fits both of you. Communication with your partner about sex is necessary. You may not change your look or name but act a little differently (dominant or submissive) in the bedroom. Pretend it's your first date all over again. 

It's important to reignite the passion in your marriage to keep your romance alive. To find helpful advice and solutions, consider Marriage in a Box.

Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.

Posted 2/22/2023

Long-term solutions to the most common relationship struggles.

See how it works