5 Reasons Couples Should Work Toward Their Goals Together

Do you and your Spouse set goals together?  Most people would answer “Yes.” Most couples plan for retirement and large expenditures. Some have a bucket list of places they want to see before they die. Just about everyone sets personal goal in their New Year’s resolutions. However, do you and your partner set relationship goals?

Your marriage is one of the biggest events in your life. It is the foundation of everything you do as a couple and the center of your happiness or misery.  So, why would you leave something so important to the winds of fate? If you don’t have a plan for your marriage, then you may not be on the same page.

Couples function better when they are on the same page, working toward the same goals. At the very least, you and your partner should spend some time each year, looking at where you have been, where you are, and where you want to go.

How to Set goals Together

1. Look at all the areas of your life as a couple and choose 3 or 4 that you both want to work on over the next 12 months.

Areas can be anything, such as Money, Parenting, Home Projects, Couple Time, Friendships with other couples, Faith, Sex Life, Leisure time together, etc.

2. For the three or four areas you chose to work on, think of two specific, measurable goals you can work on. Suppose you chose Parenting as one of your areas. You might feel that one of you does more of the parenting than the other. So, a goal could be “working together as a parenting team.”

5 Reasons to work together on goals

1. Partnership - By working together as a team to reach a common goal, your relationship is instantly strengthened. Stronger teamwork = stronger foundation.
2. Support- Committing to change of any kind includes both struggles and obstacles. Having a partner to help you face and overcome each challenge is a huge advantage.
3. Soundboard- As you embark on this journey together, you will continue to learn together. Sharing ideas and tips for what works and what doesn’t will help you stimulate each other’s minds.
4. Accountability- Having someone in your corner will hold you responsible for staying on track. They’ll also have your back, which is simply the best feeling there is.
5. Celebration- Both of you celebrating both of your accomplishments together brings you closer together as a couple.

When you both make it a priority to work on relationship goals together, your marriage becomes stronger, and you deepen your connection to each other.  

Transform Your Marriage Into A Committed Marriage

Everything in our society today seems to focus on “individualism”. Government is focused on protecting the equality of individuals. Business produces products based on individual consumer needs and preferences. Relationships are based on how individuals feel and what they want. Marriage, however, is based on a couple’s commitment to maintain and grow their relationship through their lifetimes.

When both partners are not committed to the marriage, the relationship leads to sadness, frustration, and eventually divorce.

Commitment to your marriage is a choice that must be made daily. When you stop trying to draw closer in your marriage, you begin drifting away. A committed marriage requires intentional action to maintain and grow the relationship. When your marriage hits a rough patch, you may need to make some sacrifices and take some steps to do what it takes to make the marriage work.

Three active steps you can take to make a commitment to your marriage are:

1. Honor your marriage vows, even when things get tough.

• Do you take this man (or this woman to Have and to hold from this day forward? You chose your spouse because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them.
• For Better or for worse, not just when times are good. You agreed that you would help your partner weather the bad times in life.
• For richer and for poorer, you accepted the fact that there may be times when you may have to reign in your spending, ration your existing resources, and forego some things until finances improve.
• In sickness and in health, you will devote yourself to nurture and care for your spouse throughout their lifetime.
• Share in each other’s joys and withstand life’s pressures and disappointments.
• Surround yourself with people that support you and your spouse and want to see your marriage succeed.

2. Change the “Me” to “We” to bind and secure your marriage for a lifetime.

• Marriage requires Teamwork. Make sure that you share the chores and errands, childcare, and family support.
• Communicate Openly, Manage finances jointly, and plan for your future together.
• Don’t focus only on your hopes, dreams, and wants. Think about and plan for what is best for you and your spouse as a couple.

3. Build lasting Trust through loyalty and fidelity to protect and preserve the relationship.

• Be the person your partner can count on to talk when they need to talk, and not do anything to hurt or betray them.
• Be each other’s cheerleader by building each other up and focusing on the positives in your relationship.
• Don’t let attractions to others or vices replace your attraction to your spouse. Protect yourself from distractions like pornography and temptations like office flirtations.
• Actively keep the romance and intimacy alive in your marriage by flirting, spending time alone with your spouse, and date nights.

Your willingness to sacrifice your personal interest for your marriage is the essence of commitment and the one that is going to make your marriage a success.