Financial Red Flags To Watch Out For In Your Marriage
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Does your spouse get irritated anytime you bring up the subject of money? Not wanting to discuss money could be a red flag they have something to hide. Building a life together takes both of you working together. Discussing your finances regularly, no matter how you are doing financially, is essential to paying your bills currently, making good financial choices, and planning for your future.
Keep trying to get your spouse to sit down and talk with you about your finances. Schedule a monthly date night where you can look at the bills and your budget and see where you are. The more you try to involve your spouse, the easier it should be to get them to join in. If not, there could be something they don’t want you to know about, and you may need to research it.
Out of Control Spending
Is your spouse a compulsive spender? When you open your credit card statements and see several purchases made that your spouse did not discuss with you, your spouse’s spending is out of control. Credit card debt can accumulate quickly and often at high interest rates.
If your spouse has run up credit card debt, you must confront them about the problem. Some people cannot control their spending, so they may need to cut up their credit cards and go on the cash system until they can get the problem under control. You can work together to develop a budget, teach them money management skills, or offer to take a course together at a local community college.
Lying About Purchases
While most couples don’t ask where every penny is spent, large purchases should be discussed before making. What do you do if you find a receipt or a charge on your credit card for a large purchase that you don’t recall discussing with your spouse? Most people would ask their spouse about the purchase. There may be a good reason, like an emergency expenditure they had to make. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
However, something is going on if they get defensive and their explanation does not sound right to you. The problem is that they have broken your trust. They spent a large sum without telling you and then tried to cover it up. Many a relationship has been destroyed by financial deceit or infidelity.
Financial red flags could be signs of an addiction.
Most people think of alcohol or drugs when they think of addiction. However, addiction is defined as a compulsive, chronic, physiological, or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects.
The top 8 types of addictions are as follows:
- Alcohol
- Anger
- Drugs
- Food
- Gambling
- Nicotine
- Sex
- Spending
Someone experiencing a financial addiction will often:
- Be unable to stay away from places or things they spend money on.
- Display a lack of self-control.
- Have an increased desire to spend more.
- Denial or dismissal of how their behavior may be causing problems.
How to Deal with Financial Red Flags in Your Marriage
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Discuss the Problem with Your Spouse
Calmly show them the evidence of the spending and explain that their financial problems could push you into bankruptcy. Ask probing questions. Are they in trouble at work? Are they involved in an affair? Try to express your love and encouragement for them to be honest with you so you can work this out together.
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Don’t Fight or Argue About the Financial Indiscretions
Blaming and Anger will not force your spouse to admit the problem. If you want to find out what motivates their financial spending, deceit, or secrecy, you must approach them in love. Remind them that you’re committed to seeking help with them, but intervention is necessary. If your efforts at communication fail, ask your spouse to talk to a trusted financial advisor or counselor with you.
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Protect Your Joint and Separate Finances
While you and your spouse work through the financial issues, you should protect your Marriage from financial ruin. Collect all the credit cards and lock them in a safety deposit box. Close the joint checking account and open separate bank accounts. Talk to a financial advisor about how to protect savings and investments.
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