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Are You Living In A Sex Starved Marriage?

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It is difficult to say exactly how many of the 113 million married Americans are too exhausted or too grumpy to get it on, but some psychologists estimate that 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which is how the experts define sexless marriage. (Newsweek)

In an American society where sex is in every TV show, movie, novel, magazine, social media, and discussion, it is hard to believe that more couples are not having sex on a regular basis.  Is the reason a lack of desire? Lack of time?

Lack of time. Compared to past generations, modern married couples lead more hectic lives. In many marriages, both spouses work full time, share the demands of raising children, and spend more time in physical activity and social commitments. If you value something highly enough, you will make time for it. Skip the gym one night or morning or beg off on a social engagement and spend it with your spouse instead.

Lack of desire. Sex is a human need. It is a desire that must be filled. Sex is necessary to a healthy marriage relationship. Sex helps couples connect physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When one partner is unhappy with your sex life, they may feel minimized or ignored. Unhappiness can turn to anger or distance. When enough anger and alienation has built up, your marriage is headed for infidelity or divorce.

How to pump up your sexual desire

If your sexual relationship is not satisfying for both of you, you need to address it and soon. A low sex drive is not uncommon. Millions of men and women suffer from a lack of desire. A lack of desire does not mean a lack of love. It simply means that it takes a lot of patience, romance, and foreplay to get in the mood for sex. Sex is not something that can conjured up instantaneously or that can be rushed.

Talk about it. If one of you is avoiding having sex because of some unresolved difference or something lacking in your lovemaking, you need to talk about it with your partner. Talking about sex is difficult for most people, however, no resolution will come from keep it a secret. You need to learn to ask for what you want.

Flirt a little with your spouse each day. Remember when you were dating and stole little kisses or whispered in each other’s ear. Out in public, you slipped you hand in his and leaned in a little closer. Across the table at lunch, you caught each other’s eye and stopped to enjoy that lingering gaze. That flirty romance may be exactly what you need.

Create the mood. Dress a little sexy. Share a glass of wine together. Tease each other with tender strokes on the neck and down the back. Let your partner know that you are willing to have sex by not saying a word. Even if you are not yet feeling the desire, go with it and let yourself give in to the sex.

A healthy sex life take work and requires time. If you and your partner devote time and energy to building a healthy sex life, you won’t be disappointed.

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