Written by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, the Marriage in a Box blog shares insights into common relationship struggles, gives ideas for moving beyond the roadblocks, and helps you find your path to happiness – both individually and within your relationship.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a thriving marriage. It fosters understanding, builds trust, and strengthens emotional connections. Yet, even the most loving couples can struggle to express themselves clearly and listen actively. If you’re looking to enhance communication in your marriage, these practical tips can guide you toward deeper connection and harmony.
1. Make Time to Talk
Life’s demands often push meaningful conversations to the back burner. Prioritize uninterrupted time to communicate with your spouse. Whether it’s a nightly check in or a weekly date night, consistent opportunities to talk are essential.
2. Practice Active Listening
Listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to speak—it’s about fully focusing on your spouse’s words and emotions. Show empathy by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. Reflect back what you hear to ensure understanding, such as, “What I’m hearing is that you felt overwhelmed at work today.”
3. Express Yourself Clearly
When sharing your thoughts and feelings, aim for clarity and kindness. Use “I” statements to take ownership of your emotions rather than placing blame. For example, instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try, “I feel overwhelmed when I’m left to handle all the chores.”
4. Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt can derail conversations and create emotional distance. Address these patterns early by focusing on solutions and showing respect, even during disagreements.
5. Use Nonverbal Communication
Body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions often convey more than words. Be mindful of how your nonverbal cues might come across. A warm tone and open posture can reinforce your message of love and understanding.
6. Set Boundaries for Difficult Topics
Not every conversation will be easy. When discussing sensitive subjects, establish rules to keep the dialogue productive. Agree to take breaks if emotions run high and revisit the discussion when both of you are calm.
7. Learn Each Other’s Communication Styles
Every individual has a unique way of expressing and processing information. Some people need time to think before responding, while others prefer immediate dialogue. Understanding these differences can reduce misunderstandings and foster patience.
8. Stay Open to Growth
Improving communication is an ongoing process. Be willing to learn, adapt, and grow together. Celebrate small wins and view challenges as opportunities to strengthen your bond.
By making communication a priority, you and your spouse can build a stronger, more connected marriage. With patience and practice, even small changes in how you talk and listen can have a profound impact on your relationship.
If communication challenges persist despite your best efforts, consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Marriage is meant to be a partnership, a connection that goes beyond shared living spaces and utility bills. Yet, over time, some couples find themselves slipping into the realm of being "roommates" rather than true partners. But what does this mean, and how can you shift back to being deeply connected partners?
Signs You’re Acting More Like Roommates
When the partnership in marriage begins to wane, it often manifests in subtle ways. Here are some signs that you might be functioning more like roommates:
• Transactional Interactions
Conversations revolve around schedules, bills, or household chores,
with little focus on emotional connection or shared dreams.
• Parallel Lives
You and your spouse are busy with your own routines, spending little
quality time together.
• Lack of Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy becomes rare, replaced by distant or
obligatory gestures.
• Minimal Conflict (and Minimal Connection)
While frequent arguments are unhealthy, complete silence about
deeper issues can indicate emotional disengagement.
• Prioritizing Everything Else
Work, hobbies, or socializing with friends often take precedence over
time spent together as a couple.
The Importance of Being Partners
Marriage thrives when both individuals are invested in each other's lives, dreams, and happiness. A true partnership involves emotional intimacy, shared responsibilities, and mutual support. Partners make decisions together, celebrate successes, and tackle challenges as a united front.
How to Reignite Your Partnership
If you recognize some of these "roommate behaviors" in your marriage, don’t despair. Here are practical steps to reconnect with your spouse:
1. Prioritize Communication
Start by having meaningful conversations. Ask your partner about their thoughts, feelings, and goals. Truly listen and engage.
2. Schedule Quality Time
Make date nights, shared hobbies, or even nightly chats a priority. Focus on activities that foster connection.
3. Show Appreciation
Small gestures, like saying thank you or leaving a kind note, go a long way in making your partner feel valued.
4. Revisit Shared Goals
Reflect on your dreams as a couple. Are you still aligned? If not, work together to redefine your goals.
Moving Forward as a Team
Marriage is a continuous journey of growth and connection. By recognizing when you’re drifting into roommate territory, you can take intentional steps to rebuild your partnership. Whether it’s through deeper communication, shared experiences, or professional guidance, you can reignite the bond that brought you together in the first place.
Take the first step today. Consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
The holiday season is often a whirlwind of activities such as family gatherings, festive parties, shopping for gifts, and countless other commitments. While these traditions bring joy, they can also be overwhelming and leave little time for nurturing your most important relationship, your marriage. Amid the hustle and bustle, setting aside time for just you and your spouse is essential. Here’s why and how to make it happen.
Why Your Relationship Needs Attention During the Holidays
Strengthening Your Bond
With so much focus on external obligations, it’s easy for couples to become disconnected. Dedicating time to each other helps maintain emotional intimacy and reinforces your partnership as a team.
Stress Relief
The holidays can be stressful. Sharing moments of relaxation with your spouse provides a safe space to unwind, recharge, and face the season’s challenges together.
Creating Meaningful Memories
Some of the most cherished memories come from quiet moments shared with loved ones. Investing time in your marriage ensures the holiday season is as meaningful for you as it is for everyone else.
Tips for Making Time for Each Other
1. Schedule a Holiday Date Night
Pick a night to escape the holiday chaos. Whether it’s a candlelit dinner, a walk under twinkling lights, or watching your favorite holiday movie, make it an intentional time for just the two of you.
2. Start a Tradition for Two
Create a tradition unique to your marriage—exchanging letters, baking cookies together, or reflecting on the year over a glass of wine. This ritual can become a cherished part of your holidays.
3. Set Boundaries
It’s okay to say no to some invitations or commitments. Protecting your time as a couple is just as important as fulfilling social obligations.
4. Share the Holiday To-Do List
Collaborate on tasks like gift shopping, decorating, or meal preparation. Turning chores into shared activities can make them enjoyable and give you more time together.
5. Plan a Mini Getaway
If possible, carve out a day or weekend to escape the holiday hustle. A short trip to a cozy cabin or a day at the spa can work wonders for reconnecting.
This holiday season, give each other the gift of presence. Time together doesn’t need to be extravagant, it’s the intention behind it that matters most. When you prioritize your relationship, you’ll find the holidays feel less stressful and more fulfilling for you and your spouse.
Remember, your marriage is the foundation of your family and your shared
life. Nurturing it during this busy season is not just a gift to each other but also to everyone who loves and depends on you. Consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Holidays can put significant financial stress on couples. Buying gifts for the children, each other, each other’s families, friends can add up to a hefty price tag. Decorations, food, party outfits, tickets to festivities, and travel to visit relatives can really strain your budget. It is so easy to get caught up in frenzy of decorating and entertaining that by the end of that month all you are left with is a sizeable holiday debt.
Here are a few ideas to help you avoid that holiday debt trap:
Sit Down and Talk Before You Shop
The first step is for you and your spouse to make some time in your schedule, think about what you would like to do for your holiday, so some research and plan a budget. Talk about how you can achieve your goals and execute your plan while staying within budget.
Look at your monthly bills.
Realistically, how much extra is there if you have not been saving up to buy gifts? Together, figure all your regular monthly income and expenses into a budget. We’ve all got necessities, so take of those first. Then, make a general list of everything you’d like to spend money on for Christmas including the things we often overlook like food, cards, party expenses, and decorations.
Make an agreement not to use credit this holiday.
Swiping that credit card is easy. It may even give you a little bit of joy. But remember, every transaction you make with that credit card will drag you further and further into debt. Take your credit cards out of your wallet and put them in a secure place for the holidays so you won’t be tempted by impulse buys.
Decide who you want and need to buy presents for this holiday season.
Spend a few minutes narrowing down your list. If you come from a large family where everyone is expected to buy for everyone else, perhaps have the conversation that, in these economic times, you’d like to explore the idea of just drawing names for extended family gifts or just sending cards and homemade gifts.
Make a monthly and weekly budget along with the final list of who you will buy for.
Put your budget in writing. Create a tracker and track it every time you purchase a gift at a store or online. Then, you will have a visual list to help with stay on target. People often think twice before making a purchase when tracking all their purchases.
Recognize the emotional or situational triggers that lead to impulsive spending.
Develop alternative activities or coping mechanisms that don’t involve shopping, such as exercise, hobbies or spending time with friends and family.
Even though you are on a budget this holiday, you can still enjoy tasty food and fun activities.
Don’t shop for Christmas decorations! Get all your decorations out and think of ways to repurpose them. Get the kids involved by stringing popcorn or cranberries for garland. Wrap some big shipping boxes with colorful wrapping paper and plastic ribbons and set them out on the lawn.
Get help with the holiday meal. Instead of hosting and preparing the holiday meal for the whole family, make it a holiday potluck.
Holiday travel is almost twice as expensive as other times of the year. Rather than trying to visit out-of-town relatives during the holiday weeks, send a card with family photos and let them know you are looking forward to visiting with them in the spring or summer.
Save money by not sending cards. Send one photo with the family on social media to friends and distant family instead of sending holiday cards.
Save money on utility bills by being thrifty. Asks family to limit shower time to less than 30 minutes to save water. Follow the utility company's recommendation and set and maintain your thermostat at a reasonable temperature. Use paper plates and utensils to save on dishwasher loads. Put your outdoor display lights on a timer and only run them the week of the holiday. Ask family to turn out lights when they leave a room for the day or evening.
A joyful holiday doesn’t depend on how much money you spend. It’s all about the people you’re sharing time with and the memories you’re creating along the way.
Consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
The Holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, but they can also be the most stressful. Between decorating the house, finding the perfect gifts, juggling holiday parties, and meeting family expectations, the holidays add a lot of pressure to our everyday lives. It’s no surprise that many couples struggle during this busy time of year. Some of the more common struggles and strategies to deal with them are highlighted below.
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Budgeting
One of the most common relationship problems during the holidays is money. Money can create issues at any time of the year, but the holidays can bring out the ugly in finances. Whether you’re living comfortably and have the budget for a big spend for the holidays, or you’re trying to figure out which bills will have to be late so you can afford gifts for the kids this year, budgeting and finances can wreak havoc on relationships when partners are not in agreement about spending.
Solution: Discuss and set a budget for the holidays ahead of time. Start at least three months ahead of the holidays and budget a realistic amount for gifts for each family member, decorations, food, and entertainment. Put aside a set amount each month to go towards your holiday budget. The key is to be on the same page with your spouse. Discuss every financial decision together, and make sure you both agree on it. Stick to your budget plan. If you've budgeted for the holidays this year, you'll be less stressed about spending money on the holiday.
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Where and with Whom to Spend the Holidays
Let's face it: holidays with relatives are stressful. As a married couple, you have not one but two (and sometimes more) families to juggle during the holidays, not including your own.
Solution: Plan ahead! Decide when and where you want to spend Your family Christmas. Then, talk with the in-laws and work out when and where to spend family time with them. If your in-laws live far away, you could try alternating holidays, like spending/thanksgiving with one set of in-laws and Christmas with the other, and then switch every other year. Having a plan your relatives can expect will *hopefully* reduce family drama, making the holidays less stressful for you and your spouse. Set clear boundaries, do what's best for your marriage and your kids, and set your holiday season up for the least stress possible.
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Extra Responsibilities
The holiday season is packed with extra responsibilities, and if you don't communicate who does what with your spouse, you're gearing up for a stressful Christmas. If one spouse does most of the holiday chores, it can build resentment between you. One spouse will feel overworked and underappreciated, while the other is clueless and insensitive to the tension.
Solution: before any of these responsibilities come up, talk about them! Make a list of all the holiday chores you'll need to accomplish (for instance: holiday cooking and baking, Christmas shopping, gift wrapping, decorating, and budgeting). Discuss which responsibilities have fallen on whom in the past and if you'd like to change that this year.
Then assign holiday responsibilities. Expectations will be clear, and the burden won't be reserved for one person. You'll be able to tackle all the not-so-fun things that come with Christmas together as a team.
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Holiday Traditions
Your family may have always opened presents on Christmas Eve, but your partner’s family waited until Christmas morning. Your family may have gone overboard on decorations, holiday baking, and getting lots of presents. However, your spouse’s family may have. As couples, we have believed in a less materialistic, spiritual approach to the holidays. Our holiday traditions are set when we’re children and tend to carry a strong emotional charge, making us more attached to our way and less open-minded or flexible than is ideal.
Solution: Compromise! Don’t be rigid and inflexible by insisting that it be done your family’s way. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate holidays. Create your own holiday traditions as a couple. Talk about what is most important to you during the holidays, and try to blend your ideas together. Without the push and pull of trying to convince your spouse to do it one way or another, you can relax, create your own thing, and enjoy the holidays.
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Drinking & Overindulging at Holiday Parties
At holiday parties and gatherings, the free flow of alcohol can make it easy to overindulge. Often, alcohol stirs up more tension between you and your partner during the holidays.
Solution: Discuss the topic beforehand and come up with some ways to manage this year. Maybe you both agree to a maximum number of drinks, take turns being designated driver so you don’t get stuck somewhere, or decide to forego drinking altogether. If you have a partner who overindulges and doesn’t have a plan to keep it under wraps this year, plan for how you will manage.
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Finding Time to Connect during the Holidays
It is easy to get so busy decorating, cooking and baking, planning and attending holiday parties and family gatherings in addition to your busy work and home life that you can neglect making time for intimacy with your spouse. However, Your emotional connection with your spouse is essential for a happy marriage. Neglecting it can leave partners feeling unimportant, unloved, or not cared about.
Solution: Use your small period of free time to call your partner, message, or video chat with them. Schedule a relaxing, intimate date night ahead of time. Wake up 20 minutes early to cuddle, share conversation, and have coffee together.
Most marital struggles during the holidays can be headed off by planning ahead together. If you are dealing with marital struggles this holiday season, consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Mindfulness and thankfulness are powerful tools to strengthen marriages, fostering deeper connection and emotional well-being. Every interaction between you and your spouse is an opportunity for mutual appreciation and thankfulness. However, when tensions are high, and one or both partners are not mindful of their emotions, their words, and their energy, their interactions promote the opposite of togetherness, weakening the trust, connection, and deep intimacy necessary for a happy marriage.
The Power of Mindfulness in Marriage
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, without judgment, and with a sense of curiosity and openness.
Benefits of Mindfulness in Relationships:
1. Improved Communication
Mindfulness can help improve communication between partners by encouraging them to listen more attentively and respond more thoughtfully. By being present and fully engaged in conversations, couples can avoid misunderstandings and connect on a deeper level.
2. Reduced Stress
Stress is a common culprit in strained relationships. Mindfulness can help reduce stress by promoting relaxation and reducing the negative effects of stress on the body and mind. This can lead to a more harmonious and peaceful relationship.
3. Increased Empathy
Practicing mindfulness can increase empathy towards your partner. By being more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, you can better understand and empathize with your partner's experiences and perspective, fostering a greater sense of connection and understanding.
4. Strengthened Emotional Bond
Mindfulness can strengthen the emotional bond between partners by creating moments of shared presence and connection. By practicing mindfulness together, couples can create a deeper sense of intimacy and emotional closeness.
5. Better Conflict Resolution
Mindfulness can also improve conflict resolution in relationships. By practicing mindfulness, couples can approach conflicts with a calmer and more compassionate mindset, making it easier to find mutually beneficial solutions.
Mindfulness Practices for Couples:
Many of our behaviors and responses in a marital relationship are habitual. Mindfulness increases awareness of your habitual behaviors, which are largely defined by your beliefs and personal history. The habitual behavior is to react or respond to your partner in flood of emotion. By pausing before you react or respond to something your partner says or does, it allows you time to shift your brain’s automatic responses to something more positive. Certain practices can help:
- Be present: Pay attention to the present moment and what's happening rather than how you wish it were.
- Listen actively: Try to understand your partner's perspective and feelings without interrupting or trying to fix them.
- Be compassionate: Try to understand your partner's emotions and be compassionate towards them.
- Practice gratitude: Notice and appreciate the good things your partner does for you.
- Reduce stress: Learn how to manage stress and respond to it in a calm way.
- Accept things as they are: Acknowledge how you're feeling and what's happening, even if it's not what you want.
- Create a vision: Make a list of how you want to interact with your partner in the future.
- Engage in caring behaviors: Ask your partner what makes them feel good and do those things for them.
- Meditate together: Meditation can be a beneficial exercise for nurturing relationships.
Cultivating Gratitude in Your Marriage
Gratitude works hand in hand with mindfulness. A genuine spirit of gratitude flows from deep in the heart. It is a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Research shows gratitude can help to reduce stress, improve relationships, and make us happier overall.
Express Gratitude to Your Partner Everyday
Showing gratitude to your partner can have many benefits; however, it can be difficult to find a way to do that regularly and in a meaningful way. If you struggle to find ways to show gratitude, here are some tips that may help you cultivate gratitude in your relationship.
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Share compliments out loud. Have you ever caught yourself thinking something nice about your partner, such as admiring the way they look, or how they interact with you and others? Instead of keeping that thought to yourself, say it out loud. Tell your partner what you appreciated about them or what they did in the moment.
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Pitch in and give your partner a break. It can be easy to forget or not notice how much effort your partner is putting into their job or at home. Show your gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s contributions by giving them a break and pitching in where you can lessen their load.
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Involve your children in thanking and letting your partner know how much you appreciate them. If you have children, getting them in on the joy of practicing gratitude can be a fun habit to build as a family. Help your children recognize how much work your partner is putting in by helping them thank your partner through words, work, or even with special notes and cards.
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Write out a note, text, or letter expressing appreciation and gratitude. Can you remember the last time your partner received a love message from you? Go deeper than expressing your love for them by explaining the reasons why you love them and noticing the small things they do each day that brighten up your life.
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Be thankful for them, even when they aren’t there. It can be easy to get into a routine of complaining about our partners when they aren’t present. Next time this happens, turn the complaining session into a gratitude session. Even though your partner may not be present to hear what you appreciate, you will have an increased level of gratitude for them.
Making mindfulness and gratitude a part of our everyday lives can bring joy, love , and optimism to your marriage and help build resilience when life throws you challenges. If you and your spouse struggle with mindfulness and gratitude, consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
The holidays are a time for celebration, togetherness, and creating cherished memories. However, they can also bring challenges, especially when emotions run high, expectations are unmet, or unresolved family dynamics resurface. If you’re aiming for a joyful, drama-free holiday season with your family, preparation is key. Here's how to make the season smoother and more enjoyable for everyone.
1. Set Realistic Expectations
Many holiday conflicts arise from unmet expectations. Before planning, discuss with your spouse what a "perfect" holiday looks like and find a compromise that works for both of you.
- Talk openly about priorities: Which traditions matter most? Who should you visit, and for how long?
- Communicate limits: If extended family tends to overstep, set clear boundaries in advance to avoid misunderstandings.
2. Plan Together
Involve your spouse and, if applicable, your children in the planning process. Collaborative planning ensures everyone feels heard and reduces the likelihood of last-minute disagreements.
- Create a schedule: Decide where and when you’ll celebrate with different branches of the family.
- Avoid overbooking: Packing too many activities into one day can lead to stress and burnout.
3. Establish Boundaries with Extended Family
Every family has unique dynamics. If you anticipate tension, establish boundaries early to prevent conflicts.
- Address triggers beforehand: If certain topics (like politics or parenting styles) spark heated debates, gently request they be off-limits for holiday conversations.
- Say no when necessary: It's okay to decline invitations or requests that feel overwhelming or unrealistic.
4. Prioritize Quality Time Over Perfection
The pressure to create the “perfect” holiday often leads to unnecessary stress. Instead, focus on connection and presence.
- Embrace imperfection: Not everything will go as planned, and that’s okay.
- Simplify traditions: If preparing a multi-course meal causes tension, consider potluck-style dinners or ordering takeout.
5. Practice Stress Management
Holidays can amplify stress, but proactive self-care helps you stay calm and centered.
- Take breaks: If family dynamics feel overwhelming, step outside for a breath of fresh air or take a quiet moment for yourself.
- Lean on your partner: Check in with each other throughout the celebrations to ensure you're both feeling supported.
6. Stay Unified as a Couple
In times of stress, it's easy for couples to turn against each other. Instead, present a united front.
- Communicate regularly: Share feelings and concerns ahead of time.
- Back each other up: If one partner sets a boundary, the other should support it without question.
7. Prepare for Conflict Resolution
Even with the best planning, misunderstandings can happen. Be ready to navigate them with grace.
- Stay calm: Take a deep breath before reacting to any tension.
- Listen actively: Acknowledge the other person’s feelings before expressing your own.
- Focus on solutions: Rather than dwelling on the issue, look for ways to move forward.
8. Remember the True Spirit of the Season
Ultimately, the holidays are about love, gratitude, and connection. Keep this perspective front and center, and the little hiccups will feel less significant.
By setting realistic expectations, planning thoughtfully, and maintaining open communication, you can enjoy a holiday season filled with laughter, love, and lasting memories—minus the drama. For couples seeking additional strategies to navigate family dynamics during the holidays, consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
When was the last time you intentionally showed your partner how much you cared and appreciated them? Life can get busy and chaotic. When you have a million and one things to take care of, you can become so tunnel-visioned you forget to appreciate what’s right in front of your eyes! The small, everyday acts of caring, appreciation, and the simple but sincere words of love and support can play a big part in ensuring the happiness and well-being of your marriage.
Why Showing Care and Appreciation Is Important
By expressing gratitude and admiration towards your partner, you make them feel loved and wanted. It can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection. It also creates a positive space where both partners feel valued and respected.
Benefits of Showing Your Spouse Care and Appreciation include:
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Improved Communication. When you express appreciation towards your partner, it can help you both feel more comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings and create a more positive and supportive atmosphere. When you feel appreciated, it can be easier to open up and be vulnerable with your partner.
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Strengthens the relationship. Showing appreciation towards your partner create a sense of mutual respect and admiration further helping you both feel more connected. By acknowledging the things, you appreciate about your partner, you can build a stronger foundation for your relationship.
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Promotes overall well-being. Appreciating your partner can have a positive impact on your overall well-being. It can improve your mood, reduce stress, boost self-esteem, and increase feelings of happiness and contentment. By cultivating a sense of gratitude and appreciation for your partner, you can create a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life.
In your marriage, if one or both of you feel taken for granted, then that person will likely feel unappreciated and resentful. Don’t let your marriage fall into that trap. You can turn it around by showing more care and appreciation.
How to Show Care and Appreciation to Your Partner
- Express Appreciation for the things you would usually take for granted. Thanking your partner for the things they do makes them feel seen instead of taken for granted. Saying please, thank you and your welcome is the first step to showing appreciation to your spouse.
- Make Them a Priority. Life can get busy, but don’t let it get in the way of your spouse's feeling that they are important to you. Make time to connect. Don’t let your “to-do” list get so long that your spouse feels lost in the shuffle at the bottom of the pile. Find ways to show your spouse that your relationship is your #1.
- Pay attention and Listen to them. Giving someone your undivided attention is a potent way to show your appreciation. When you put down the distractions and commit to uninterrupted time with someone, you open the door for more meaningful connections.
- Pay them a Compliment. When you acknowledge your spouse’s positive attributes with a genuine compliment, that is validating.
- Publicly Acknowledge Them. Tell others how wonderful your spouse is, when they are in the room. When you praise your spouse to friends, family and colleagues, your spouse will feel special and appreciated.
- Spend Quality Time together. Spend time together and have conversations that are more than “the business of the day.” Put down the electronics, disconnect from social media, and connect with conversation. Truly listen to the stories your spouse wants to share. Ask curious questions and be supportive.
- Be available. Make sure your spouse knows that they can count on you. If they know that you are there for them with a supportive ear, willing to lend a hand to help with some of their responsibilities, they will feel appreciated and in turn happy.
Here are some small things you can do that can show your partner you care about them and are thinking about them include:
- Text them an “I love You and Miss You” during the day.
- Serve them breakfast in bed.
- Take care of them when they’re sick
- Let them sleep in when they’re tired
- Make them a cup of tea or coffee in the morning
- Finish your chores and help them with theirs
- Keep your common spaces clean and tidy
- Help them run errands
- Put gas in the car if it’s running low
- Notice things that make them happy and do them often
- Look for ways to help them with things they struggle with
In relationships, it’s often the little things you do for each other daily that make you feel happy, secure, and close to your partner. These small gestures don’t take a lot of time or money, but they go a long way toward showing your partner how much you appreciate and care about them.
If you and your spouse struggle with showing each other care and appreciation, consider using Marriage In a Box for professional support, helpful suggestions, and guidance. Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques that professionals use to address relationship issues. On the site, you can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
