3 Signs Your Marriage Is Getting Stale
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Every marriage has its highs and lows, good days and bad. After you have been married a while, it is easy to become comfortable in routine activities and mediocre relationship status. Beware! When you neglect your marriage and stop working at keeping that spark between you alive, you open the door to your spouse looking elsewhere to find that spark. How can you tell if your marriage has grown stale?
- Your Conversations are cold and disconnected.
After years together, it is natural to expect your conversations to move away from the “love talk” conversations you had when you were dating. However, the spark has gone out of a marriage when talks at the table become more of an update about the kids and grandkids than about each other. Worse is if you have little to no conversation together at all.
What can you do about it? Take more of an interest in each other and talk to each other, not at each other. Ask your partner about their day and give them your undivided attention. Look in their eyes, smile and actively participate in the conversation. Bring up a memory of something pleasant that you shared together as a couple and try to spark a longer conversation. If you make it a point to have a “couple conversation” at least few times a week, your spouse will feel more understood and cared for and your conversations will be warmer.
- Intimacy is Infrequent
It is not uncommon for the frequency of sex to diminish over the years compared to when you first married. As long as you are both satisfied with the amount and quality of sex you are having and the physical affection you show each other, you don’t need to worry about it. You can tell your marriage needs a lift not just when sexual relations have decreased but also when smaller pleasures have diminished, such as holding hands and kissing each other hello and goodbye.
What can you do about it? Slowly reintroduce small physical signs of love like a hug, a kiss on the check, hand holding and work your way back into sex. Tell your partner “I Love You” everyday. Soon, that level of intimacy that you both crave should return.
- You don’t have fun together anymore.
Remember when you were dating or first married and spent lazy days in the park, biked around the city, cooked delicious meals together, and maybe even did a little dancing? Whatever those activities were where you had fun together in your relationship, do you still engage in any of them?
It is so easy to become absorbed in the kids, your work etc. that you become complacent about focusing on you doing things as a couple. It is important to the health of any relationship to make time to laugh together and really enjoy each other’s company.
What can you do about it?
Scheduling a regular fun activity that you enjoy doing together can go a long way in easing any distance between you.
If these 3 situations sound familiar, you and your partner have some work to do. Start by having an honest conversation about it.
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