What’s Your Parenting Style?
Posted on by Destiny Girard, LMFT
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs that most people will ever have, and no one does it perfectly. Take this quiz to find out what your parenting style is and how you interact with your children. Then read below to find out more about your style of parenting and the impact that this may have on your children. Follow tips on how to manage your parenting style in a more effective manner, so that it benefits both you and your children. Remember, everyone makes mistakes when parenting but what makes a difference is learning from these mistakes and trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Authoritative Parenting Style:
Authoritative parents set high standards for their children but will take the time to reason and explain these rules and standards with their children. They are nurturing and responsive with their kids and demonstrate respect for their children, believing that they are rational and independent even at a young age. They expect appropriate levels of maturity and cooperation from their kids and provide emotional support throughout childhood. Children from authoritative parents are provided with the skills and values needed to excel in academia, social situations, emotionally and behaviorally. They have learned that rules are meant to be followed but that despite these rules, they can still feel confident and feel loved by you. They are likely to maintain close bonds with their parents.
Authoritarian Parenting Style:
The authoritarian parent runs a tight ship, with strict rules and high expectations that provide little to no flexibility or negotiation. They believe that tough love is going to benefit their child most in the future and feel that the best way to show their love for their children is by adhering to these rules. Punishments may be harsh and punitive. Authoritarian parents tend to be in high psychological control over their children’s growth and development. Children raised with authoritarian style parents may grow up to have poor self esteem, may lack discipline, be poor judges of character, lack creativity and may struggle socially, as they feel that they cannot make their own decisions. In extreme circumstances, children of authoritarian parents may rebel against their parents and may even choose to avoid contact with their parents in the future. If you are an authoritarian style parent, try to find ways to show love to your children. This does not mean that you have to compromise on your rules and beliefs, but perhaps try to engage with your children in new and meaningful ways.
Permissive Parenting Style:
Permissive parents are deeply in touch with their love for their children and want nothing more than to see their children happy. They are more inclined to give in to the short term, small battles that occur with their children, as they do not want to jeopardize their child’s happiness or feeling loved. Permissive parents have loose, poorly defined rules, often struggling to implement consequences and think of the future (i.e.: how will giving my child this cookie before dinner now make them happy next week or in 5 years?). Children raised by permissive parents can grow up feeling entitled in getting whatever they want and lack understanding of consequences. These children may feel confident in talking back or mistreating members of authority and may not follow rules and laws, as they have been shown that they do not have to do so early in life. This may impact their performance in school and at future employment opportunities, as well as in social situations. If you are a permissive parent, try thinking of how your choice to avoid a current battle with your child will impact them and their happiness or success in the future. Remember that the values your child is taught now will be carried with them throughout their life.
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