Transitioning from Being Partners to Being Expectant Parents
Posted on by Destiny Girard, LMFT
One of the most difficult, but exciting transitions that a couple can make is the transition into parenthood. Prior to getting pregnant or adopting, the couple’s main focus is on themselves and their significant other. They may be able to spend their time traveling, spending time with friends and doing things that they love without the concern of caring for a little one. They are enjoying their time together as a twosome.
When the news comes that they are going to be parents for the first time, it is often met with extreme excitement and also some fears of what may be coming. For many, their main focus now becomes the little being growing inside of them and how to prepare for the changes that are about to take place. The baby now dominates their conversation and their time. Follow these tips to ensure that you and your partner are planning for the new baby but not allowing it to dominate your entire lives.
1. Don’t stop doing the things that you love.
If together you used to enjoy hiking, traveling, biking, painting or playing pool, make sure that you take the time these 9 months to continue engaging in these activities. Although the expectant mother may have some limitations, it is important to still do the things that you love as a couple because it helps you to remain connected and have fun together.
2. Find other things to talk about.
Although you and your partner are very excited about your soon to be bundle of joy and need to plan, it is important to not allow it to completely take over your conversations. Remember that you used to have conversations about work, future goals and dreams, your past, family and friends, etc! Although there is a lot of planning and preparation to take place, you need to still make time to be the couple you’ve been all along. It is also important to remember this with your friends and family. Although they too will be excited about the baby and will want to hear details, the baby should not be all that you talk about. Don’t forget that you were two individuals before you became a mom and dad!
3. Carve out time for date nights.
This will be especially important once the baby arrives but is also extremely important beforehand. Spending quality time alone together is what allows you to remember the reasons you chose to spend your life with your partner. It helps to make sure that romance, friendship, fun, physical and emotional intimacy remain an integral part of your relationship.
4. Discuss important details before the baby arrives to make sure that you are both on the same page.
Parenting is one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs that most people will ever have. It will be helpful for you and your partner to make sure that you are in agreement on major financial decisions, how you want to raise your children (including religion and values), the types of parents that you strive to be and your expectations of your partner through the process. Having conversations about these things prior to your bundle of joy arriving will help to decrease some stress and tension as you enter into parenthood.
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