Ten Tips to Help You Prioritize Your Marriage
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With all of the people, projects, tasks, chores, and roles to fill in our daily lives, things tend to naturally fall into their places on our lists unless we make conscious choices. Our choices reflect where our priorities lie. People are playing with fire when they put careers and kids first and don’t pay attention to their romantic partnerships.
Without a strong marriage and loving home, kids won’t thrive, so you’re doing them a disservice by putting your spouse on the back burner, which can lead to marital trouble and even divorce. Children’s needs shouldn’t be neglected, but devote time during the week to nourish your marriage relationship, too.
How can you make your marriage a priority?
- Make an Emotional Connection with your Spouse Daily
Send her a text telling her you can’t stop thinking about her. Let him know that your song came on the radio and you thought of him.
- Make Physical contact often.
Kiss, hug, hold hands, massage tired muscles etc. Physical touch is essential to keeping the romance alive.
- Seek Out Your Spouse’s Input.
Let your spouse know that you value his advice, opinion, and input on big and small decision and issues.
- Before you make plans, check-in with your spouse
You don’t need your spouse’s permission for what ever you do, but do them the courtesy of checking in to make sure there is not something else going on before you make plans.
- Pursue passion together.
Watch a football game together, tackle a DIY project, explore in nature, read books and hang out at a coffee shop, and more. Allow your passions to bring you closer, not apart.
- Always treat each other with courtesy, sensitivity, and respect.
When you treat each other the way you want to be treated, you each feel valued.
- Solve problems together.
Schedule a time for the two of you to sit down and talk about a problem. This is not a time to unload all of the baggage of the past, berate your partner etc. It is a time for you both to tackle ONE problem in a loving manner. Have an agenda, talk calmly, and make your point without attacking your spouse. Listen to their side or comments. Solve the problem.
- Communicate with your partner.
It is easy to fall into the routine communication pattern of “How was your day?”, “Here is what the kids did….”, “Things at the office…” Talk to each other like you did when you were dating. Voice your dreams, your joys, your fears, your frustrations, and your funny moments.
- Schedule time for intimacy.
Just like you schedule important things like doctor’s appointments, meetings, etc., you need to build in time for romance. Make a regular date night where you spend time together enjoying each other’s company. Be sure some of those date nights include sex.
- Plan an annual Get Away.
Every couple needs time away from the kids, their jobs, and their daily routines in order to re-connect. Build good memories, create a positive shared experience, and make each Get Away something you both look forward to.
Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises