Are you bored with your marriage? Does your marriage feel stale? How in the world does that happen? After a few years of marriage, couples settle into a routine. If both spouses work, they put in long days at work, run an errand or two on the way home, make dinner together, and relax a little before bed. Once children come along, work, chores, kid’s activities, errands etc. seem to consume all energy and sex doesn’t happen much anymore. Before you know it, you are stuck in a passionless marriage.
When a couple loses their passion, they tend to replace it with something else. Criticism and fighting, lack of interest in each other, or becoming married roommates. If you don’t want your marriage to become another divorce statistic, you need to find a way to build emotional intimacy and closeness again. It’s time to fan the flames of passion in your marriage.
Partners that have been turning away from each other need to start turning back toward each other. Start taking an interest in what your partner is doing, what makes them happy, what they like to talk about, and what turns them on. Begin with a conversation. You need to address the elephant in the room.
“Honey, I love you and I believe you love me too. However, we don’t seem to cuddle or tease or have sex anymore and I want to understand how we can change that.”
You don’t lash out at your partner and start telling them what is wrong and what they need to do. That just pushes them further away. By reassuring your partner of your love and desire for them, you are drawing them into the conversation and asking for their help in solving the problem.
Reignite the Spark
Remember when you were dating and couldn’t wait to be alone so you could start holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and you can take it from there. Try to recreate that sexual attraction. Take every opportunity to touch, hold hands, hug, and cuddle. Use those little signals that used to drive ho or her wild link a sexy wink, or a wry smile, lock eyes, linger in the kitchen over doing the dishes and lock fingers in the soapy water. Playful physical affection often reignites the spark.
Get Your Sexy On
When was the last time you flirted with him or her? Well start it up again! Everyone wants to feel like they are desirable to their partner. Find a flirty, sexy song on YouTube and email him or her the link. Write a little naught note and stick it in his wallet or her purse. Give your partner a long, lingering kiss goodbye for work in the morning. Sweep your spouse up in your arms when you get home from work at night.
Carve out time to spend ALONE with your partner
Get up a little early in the morning and meet in the shower for a soapy interlude. Meet for an intimate lunch. Put the kids to bed early, turn off the TV and put on some soft music to cuddle to with a glass of wine. Hire a babysitter or take the kids to Grandma’s and go enjoy a night out together. The important thing is to make time for each other to talk, share your hopes and dreams, romance your partner, and focus on US.
Revisit Your Sexual Relationship
Initiate affectionate touching such as a backrub, then a massage. Ask your partner what they like during foreplay and take your time building the tension and anticipation. Let yourself be vulnerable and encourage your partner to do the same by sharing your desires and fantasies.
Keep the Passion and Intimacy Alive
Never stop planning time for each other and time for intimate sex. Take every opportunity you can to take turns initiating sex. Experiment with ways to bring each other pleasure and get to know each other on a more intimate level. The greater your emotional intimacy is, the deeper your marital bond will be.