Sharing the Chores Can Save Your Marriage
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If you ask couples what the top three things they argue about are, who does what around the house is usually one of those things. When one partner is unhappy about the allocation of household chores, the stress level increases in the house. Surveys indicate that even though man women work outside the home, they sill do most of the household chores. During this COVID-19 pandemic, couples are sheltering in place. The practical business of running the household like shopping, cooking, household cleaning, and laundry have increased since the family is at home 24/7. Couples that do not team up to run the household together develop feelings of irritation, misunderstandings are overblown, and a conflict erupts.
Marriage is a partnership and that means you and your partner need to act as a team and approach everything in your lives together. Together you should be discussing goals, setting priorities, dividing up responsibilities, and evaluating how things are going. That includes all of the practical aspects of running the household.
Sharing Household Chores
When you both work together to share the running of the household, there is peace and harmony in your marriage. Here are five tips to help you and your partner share the household chores.
- Communicate Priorities
Many people look at chores differently. One spouse may not be able to stand dirty dishes in the sink and insist they be cleaned as soon as they are done being used. Another spouse may be okay with doing the dishes at the end of the day. You and your partner need to sit down and discuss what chores need to be done and how often. Some chores may need to be done daily like cooking, cleaning the dishes and pots and pans. Other chores may only need to be done weekly such as dusting, sweeping, mopping, cleaning the bathrooms, and cleaning the sheets. Then there are those chores that should be done on an as needed basis like laundry, taking out the trash, etc.
- Divide the Load Fairly
There are a number of ways to approach dividing the work load. You could write down all the chores on separate pieces of paper and put them all in a jar and draw lots. You can each chose those chores you like to do and then do the chores you each hate to do together. Whatever system you come up with, the chores need to be divided fairly. One person should not be left with the majority of the chores.
- Decide on a Timetable
When will the chores be done? You and your partner need to decide which day and what time of the day to take care of household responsibilities. Both partners may be working from home. You may have young children that nap during the day. It’s best to discuss and decide when to do the chores, so that they don’t disrupt work or other priorities. You and your spouse may decide to set aside one morning or afternoon or early evening to get weekly chores done. Daily chores could be done at a certain time period of the day.
- Plan for the Week
Let one another know what the coming week is going to be like in terms of meetings, errands, special occasions, etc. Then decide how chores need to be adjusted to accommodate those instances. Make a list and post the list.
- No Nagging
Don't nag each other about what each of you volunteered to do or how you do it. Be flexible and allow your partner to accomplish their chores in the way they see fit. Does it matter if they don’t fold the shirts they way you would? Discuss each of your expectations and decide whether some standards need to be relaxed or others need to be increased. Sanitizing the kitchen counters and food surfaces require an increased level of cleaning during this period of coronavirus. If the chore hasn't been done or is done poorly by the following week when you sit down to plan the week, that's the time to bring it up for discussion.
Working as a team to get the practical chores done requires some organization, but it will eliminate misunderstanding and arguments and allow peace to reign in your home.
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