Shared Chores Strengthen Your Parenting & Marriage
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Now that school is back in session and many businesses have reopened, it is more important than ever to divide the household chores and responsibilities so that all family members share the workload. Children should be given regular chores.
Unfortunately children can be pros at procrastination, excuses, resistance and refusal when it comes to chores. This cause a lot of conflict between parents and children.
“I promise I’ll do it after this programs is over.”
“ Bobbie doesn’t have to do this; why do I always have to?”
“I’m not going to do that and you can’t make me!”
Children are self-absorbed and often do not consider the needs of others. They have no idea how much work is involved in running a household. When kids refuse to do the chores and you have to resort to nagging and imposing consequences it can seem like it would be easier just to do them yourself. DON’T!
Chores teach children important life skills
Chores teach children responsibility, accountability, time management, and honesty. Holding them accountable for their chores can increase their sense responsibility and actually make them more responsible. Kids who have regular chores begin to see themselves as important contributors to the family. They feel a connection to the family.
You and your spouse need to set the tone to encourage participation by our children.
If parents do chores with a sense of commitment, patience and humor, children will have a model to do likewise. Send the message that these are the tasks that need to be completed in order for your household to run smoothly and that everyone in the family is encouraged and expected to participate.
Make a list
Make a list of all the tasks that need to be done each week. Now estimate how much time it takes to complete each task and write that next to the task.
Determine who can do what
You and your spouse need to determine which tasks the children can do and which ones require an adult. Kids can start taking on household chores and small tasks as early as two years old.
- 2-3 year old children can put toys in a bin and sort clothes in the laundry by color-darks and lights. They can wash vegetables are part of preparing the meal.
- 3-4 year old children can help set the table, dust baseboards and low shelves, and help unpack groceries and put them away. They can also make their own bed and pick up toys and put them away.
- 5-6 year old children can put on their own clothes, brush their teeth and get ready for bed. They can feed the pet or water the plants.
- 7-9 year old children can set the table, help cook dinner, clean the dishes, and wipe down the table. They can dust furniture in their room and put their clothes and toys away.
- 10-12 year old children can wash the car, wash clothes, dry and fold clothes, put dishes in the dishwasher and help cook dinner.
- Teenagers can mow the lawn, rake leaves, take inventory of the refrigerator and make grocery lists, plan and cook meals, and learn to pay bills.
Hold a Family meeting
Discuss chores, when and how they will be starting, how often they will be done and ask for input from each child. Such times together can build morale, improve relationships, and facilitate creative problem solving.
With everyone pitching in, no one spouse is burdened with an unfair share of the workload. You are also instilling a “work ethic” in your children that will be necessary throughout their lives.
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