Selfishness Will Destroy Your Marriage
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Selfishness is one of the major enemies of married love and of love within the family. It affects how we talk to each other, how we divide responsibilities in the home, how we resolve conflicts, and even how we spend our time. It prevents a couple from growing together in marriage. Selfishness is all about getting.
Selfishness is one of the major obstacles to marital communication and thereby harms the marital friendship. This personality conflict results in a spouse manifesting many weaknesses including:
Failing to listen
We don’t necessarily have to agree on everything, but deciding to have differing opinions means more than just not thinking the same. It means listening to the other person and being willing to compromise.
Failing to respect and appreciate the views of one's spouse,
It’s easy for us to focus more on what we want or think we are due than our spouse’s side of things—whether that’s a desire for more frequent physical intimacy or greater understanding about the challenges I am facing at work.
Difficulty communicating with your spouse
Many couples each have an unspoken list of how they think life should be, with their quiet resentment building each time things don’t go their way. But if you don’t tell your spouse what your expectations are and discuss together how reasonable they are, you can’t blame them for not meeting them. Maybe once you’ve talked together, you’ll realize you need to adjust.
Controlling and manipulative behavior
We don’t have to do everything I want when I want, and the way I want. It’s amazing how little things—what you want for dinner, the way you load the dishwasher, what temperature to run the AC at—can become significant sources of conflict.
How to Become less Selfish
- Recognize your Selfishness.
- Become a good listener. Listen to what your spouse is saying.
- Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Think about how your spouse would feel under the circumstances.
- Try putting your needs lasts. Support your husband or wife even if it means giving up something you really want to do.
- Be open and honest with your spouse. Don’t hide your thoughts or actions
- Avoid criticizing and blaming your spouse. Blame cause the attacked partner to put up walls of protection, and these walls keep love out.
- Engage in some give and take. Take turns making decisions.
Marriage is “WE” not “I.” Always think of what is the best choice for your marriage. Putting your marriage before your desires is a sign of emotional maturity and creates a strong marriage.