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Secrets and Lies Can Destroy Your Marriage

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If you suspect your partner is cheating, you'll want to get to the bottom of things quickly. Try not to dismiss gut feelings if you feel your partner has a secret or is hiding something, and red flags keep popping up. It's important to avoid jumping to conclusions as you may be overthinking the situation. 

Signs Your Spouse is Hiding Something from You

There are some hallmark signs that experts say that someone is hiding something. Here is a list of common behaviors from someone who has a secret but won't tell.

They're Being Overly Nice

Your partner may be giving special attention if they think you are suspicious of wrongdoing.

They're Protective of Their Cell Phone

If they are overly protective of their phone and take it everywhere, even to the bathroom. 

They continue to Over-React

They may blow up and act like you invaded their privacy if you ask how their day was at work to get you off their case because they felt you were onto their hidden secrets.

They Turn the Tables and Accuse You Of Cheating

Cheaters may project their guilt and blame onto someone else. 

They're Emotionally Aloof

Your partner may be distant because they're hiding secrets. 

Their Schedule is Erratic

A change in your partner's schedule could be suspect if they don't have a new job or haven't taken on any responsibilities you know about.

You Catch Them in Lies, they are vague.

Trust is crucial in any relationship; however, when someone tries to hide something, inconsistencies can point to hiding secrets.

 Your Partner Cuts You Out of Their Life

If you've always done everything together but are suddenly uninvited to things, it's a red flag. 

Their Body Language or non-verbal cues seem off.

 They may be more intimate or become detached, cold or close off affection, and avoid looking you in the eye.

They suddenly start to improve their appearance.

 You may see a new haircut, clothes, cologne, working out, dieting, or grooming.

 Your partner may become more adventurous.

Having an affair makes people feel daring, young, and alive. Your spouse may suggest spontaneous, fun activities they would usually never be up to and have re-awakened their drive for intimacy.

Why Keep Secrets?

According to the researchers, people in relationships keep secrets for many reasons, such as reluctance to damage the relationship or lose their partner. Shame is another driver for keeping secrets if it would lead their partner to disapprove and lose faith in them. Fear of being abandoned or stigmatized. There may be secrets about their core identity that keep their partner from having a complete picture of their flaws. 

Signs Your Spouse Isn't Being Honest:

●     Evading questions

●     Suspicious body language/nonverbal cues - minimal eye contact

●     Covering their mouth

●     Being vague/overly detailed

●     Voice sounds weird

●     Inconsistent stories 


Why People Lie

People lie for various reasons, which may include:

●     Avoiding conflict or embarrassment or facing consequences of their behavior

●     Fear of losing their spouse

●     Hiding something they did or did not do

●     Postponing having to make changes in lifestyle

●     Trying to protect someone else's feelings

Harmful Effects of Secrets and Lies

While someone might lie to protect their partner's feelings or avoid conflict, lies can cause problems in a relationship because they decrease trust and intimacy. If someone lies to you and you find out it will cause great pain. It can deprive a partner from taking informed action if important information is being withheld.

How To Deal with Secrets

●     Collect your feelings.

●      Ask yourself if your partner did something to make you lose trust in them or if you are overreacting to the situation.

●     Calmly talk to your spouse about your suspicions with open, honest communication, avoid interrupting or accusing them, and listen to their defense, but trust your gut.

●     If you find your partner has been unfaithful, surround yourself with loved ones you can confide in to lower psychological distress and decide next steps.

How to deal with dishonesty 

Dishonesty in a relationship is a significant issue. If you suspect your partner is untrustworthy, knowing how to fix dishonesty in a relationship is the best. The tips below will show you how:

1.Speak to your partner about it.

 Avoid confrontation, let your partner know how their actions make you feel, and allow them to explain themselves and listen actively.

2. Understand their perspective.

Try to be reasonable and understand their viewpoint without criticizing or interrupting them, and remember, the goal is to fix your relationship.

If you and your partner are struggling with infidelity, Marriage In a Box may be an option for help learning new skills, suggestions, and support. It is also essential that both spouses know interventions and boundaries and repair the damage in their marriage. Consider Marriage In a Box for helpful advice and solutions. Marriage In a Box allows you to access tools professional marriage counselors use and solutions for relationship issues. Marriage coaching is available on the website. Feel free to check out their kit and sources of information online.

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