Restablish Mutual Respect In Your Marriage
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There is an emotional connection that occurs when couples like, admire and respect each other. They talk to each other. They laugh together. When they speak to others about their partner they tend to brag about how great they are. Some couples stop talking, laughing and admiring each other and the emotional bond becomes frayed.
Though difficult, it is possible to restore respect. If you once cared for the person or held them in high regard, it is possible to return to this state if you choose to.
- Regaining respect is a choice
You have to want to regain the respect you once had for your partner. You might prefer to justify your reactions rather than to be the one who rises above the anger. To make the shift, you first have to consciously and genuinely choose to find your way back to respect. The angrier you are, the harder this will be.
- Understand what respect is and is not
To respect is to understand that the other person is not you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product. In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve. Your task is not to control the other person or try to change him or her in a direction that you desire but he or she does not.
- Respect each other’s efforts.
The biggest way to show respect is to support and appreciate each other’s efforts. Compliment and thank your partner. We all like to be praised for the efforts and gifts we bring to the relationship, even if it is our role. This restores respect because being noticed and valued is important.
- Listen with compassion
We all need someone to hear us vent and express our feelings from time to time. Listening to your partner when they're speaking is one of the most essential signs of respect within a relationship. Be there for each other if one of you is having a difficult or tough time. Listen without trying to fix the problem.
Listen with the intention to recall what you once appreciated about your partner, to feel his or her goodness and love, and to reconnect with the relationship you once had. Remember the person is doing the best he or she can, working through humanity’s struggles just like you.
- Respect each other’s opinion, viewpoints and feelings
Decisions that affect you will often affect each other. The first step on respecting your partner’s opinion is to ask for it. When you involve your partner you are demonstrating respect and honoring their value.
Disagreements are normal and healthy in a marriage. Vicious personal attacks at your spouse’s character or personality are not! You can disagree without belittling or hurting someone. Everyone has a right to their own feelings and viewpoint and all feelings are valid. For respect to be present you need to validate each other’s feelings and point of view, even if you do not agree.
Start treating your spouse how you would like to be treated and respect will return to your marriage.
