Respect & Kindness Build A Healthy, Happy Marriage
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Too often when people have been together for a while, they have a tendency to take each other or granted. We may stop making an effort to be our best selves for our spouse. Before long, we are ignoring our spouses, not seeking their opinion on things, criticizing them for their values or beliefs, or becoming impatient when requesting something of them.
When you stop putting the needs and happiness of your spouse before you own, you have sunk into selfishness. Continue down this road and you will drive your spouse away. The hour has come for you to start being your best self for your spouse by sowing them respect and kindness.
Respect
Respect is the foundation of a healthy marriage. Couples enter into marriage voluntarily because they love each other, but they are individuals with differing needs and wants. As such, each partner in the relationship should be willing to:
- listen to their spouse
- be accepting of their differences
- be patient when requesting something or communicating, and
- respect their personal boundaries.
Respect is revealed in the things we say, the tone of voice we use, our expectations of our partner, and how we listen to our partner. There is no room in a marriage for rude or sarcastic remarks, name calling, criticism, anger or yelling. You do not seek to tear down someone you love. You need to treat your partner gently, tenderly, and protectively. Love is fragile and when someone close to you treats you harshly, that love is crushed.
Communication is essential for achieving respect in your marriage. The better you communicate, the better you can restore and maintain marital respect. Begin a conversation with praise and softly lead into the issue you want to discuss. State how you feel about an issue rather than accuse our partner of a behavior. Your aim is to keep the conversation positive and non-defensive so that it does not escalate to anger. Remember that you are talking to someone you love.
Kindness.
Don’t look for a reason to be kind; just be that way. Kindness is shown in a thousand ways, such as texting encouraging words, being a builder, having a shoulder to cry on, always finding the good, smiling, finding ways to serve your spouse, hugging your spouse, and thinking of them before you think of yourself.
It takes effort to be kind. You have to focus on the positive things about our spouse and tune out the negative. Both partners in a marriage are imperfect. Picking apart our partner for their differences does nothing to bring you closer together.
A small kind gesture or word may be just what your partner needs to face a harsh, unforgiving world. Be gentle, patient, forgiving, and positive with your spouse.
- A kiss on the check before work
- Keeping dinner warm in the oven when your spouse has to work late
- Forgiving your spouse when they forgot to take out the trash, or Encouraging our spouse with a “knock ‘em dead” before a big presentation makes a positive difference in their day that they will remember.
Respecting your spouse and treating them with kindness are two things that cost very little but can build a healthy, happy marriage.
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