You Can Manage A Household And Still Keep The Romance Alive
It doesn’t take long for any married couple with a family to realize that career, children, personal commitments, managing the finances, household chores and responsibilities, can overshadow any alone time you may have as a couple. However, it is important that both of you work together to manage the household and still make time for yourselves as a couple in order to avoid conflicts in your marriage and keep the romance alive. Here are 3 key tips to help you do just that.
Work together to create a money Management System & Plan
Married couples use many methods to manage their money. Some keep their income separate and divvy up the bills as they would with a roommate. Others place all income into a shared account from which all expenses are paid. Meanwhile, a hybrid method involves using a joint account for household bills and setting up individual accounts for personal spending for each spouse. The important thing is to discuss and agree on a money management system, create a budget and stick to it.
Planning your financial future as a couple means taking bills, family, emergencies, and luxury purchases into consideration when making a budget. Just because you have created a marriage budget doesn’t mean it will stay the same forever. As your lives change and your family grows, be sure to revisit your financial situation to see if any adjustments need to be made.
Determine a Healthy Division of Household Task Responsibilities
There’s no right or wrong way to figure out who does what. The important thing is for you and your spouse to have a mutual understanding of one another’s roles as you work through the responsibilities of your household together. At a time when you’re both relaxed and comfortable, discuss what a healthy balance of responsibilities would be in your home. Decide what each of you can do to support your marriage. And discuss the proper running of your household. Work together to divide the load as best you can.
If both of you are employed, you’ll have to work harder to find a healthy balance between you. Consider each other’s time and workload expended outside the home. Look for solutions to make your life together less stressful. If possible, pay someone else to do a chore, so that your time and energy can go into activities that you need to do yourself.
Make Time for One Another
First, you need to schedule time together. But besides dates, plan brief "meetings," where you can bring up household and child-care issues such as an upcoming doctor's appointment, children’s activities, or children’s items you need to buy. This way your dates won't be overtaken by talk about the kids and you can share the stuff you both are interested in.
Intimacy is also a critical component of romantic relationships. Some busy couples find it helpful to schedule sex by putting it on the calendar. It may not be spontaneous to have it written in red ink, but setting aside time for an intimate encounter helps ensure that your physical and emotional needs are met.
The easiest way to manage your household and keep the romance fresh is to discuss ways to make your lives easier, make decisions together, and carve out time to be alone together.Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises