Make Your Marriage The Central Focus Of The Family
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It’s really easy to let your kids become the center of your family’s life. Too much focus on the kids can actually wear down a marriage. Happy parents make a home healthy and happy. Your marriage should be the center of your family. Make your relationship the anchor piece instead of the children being what it’s all about.
- Don’t get trapped in gender roles.
Mom doesn’t always have to pack the lunches for school. Dad doesn’t always have to walk the dog. Both of you can take turns or whoever is free can pack the lunches or walk the dog. Shared chores eliminate the stress of piling it all on one partner.
- Relinquish total control.
Sometimes Mom can control the parenting in the house. She sets the kids schedules, determines what they wear, what they eat, etc. Let your husband in on the parenting. Don’t worry about whether their clothes are perfect or that they always eat this or that for breakfast. Let dad make breakfast. Let Dad get the kids dressed too. You both made these children together so you should both parent then together. Shared parenting will bring you closer together.
- Do not assume.
Often one spouse will get angry with the other spouse for not automatically picking up the dirty clothes, sitting down and watching TV while the other does chores, etc. Your spouse may not know that you need help, so ASK. Would you mind cleaning up the dinner dishes while I pack the kids lunches? Don’t stew in silence doing all the work; that just builds resentment towards your spouse. Ask when you need help.
- Focus Less Attention on the Kids
Children are demanding. They want all of your time and attention. If you let them have all of the time and attention, there isn’t any left for your marriage. Set boundaries for your kids. “Please don’t interrupt when Mommy and Daddy are talking.” “ If you play on your own in your play area for 30 minutes, we can all go do something fun this afternoon.”
- Steal time from the Kids to Give to Your marriage.
After you have spent the day with the kids, and the evening with bath time, story time, bedtime, you are both ready for bed. Put the kids to bed early so you can spend some time together. Make arrangements with a neighbor that has kids to babysit for each other occasionally to get a night out. Take advantage of area daycares or churches that offer parent’s night outs and go have an intimate dinner together.
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