Love Means Learning To Say Sorry
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Even the healthiest of happy couples argue and sometimes fight despite the hard work put into their relationship. People with the most loving intentions are human, won't always handle relationship conflict well, and mess up sometimes. We occasionally cause harm to our partners and wound them with words requiring a sincere apology and a do-over. It can be seen as a well-learned lesson to do better moving forward. Overall, saying sorry in a relationship indicates that you want to get along and continue with the other person. Apologizing shows that you are upset about making them feel disrespected or hurt. It's important to say you are sorry in a marriage.
Five Steps to Say You're Sorry to Your Spouse
1. Own your mistake and Take Responsibility for Your Actions.
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When you've broken a rule of social conduct, apologizing can re-establish that you know the "rules" and should uphold them, making others feel safe.
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Apologizing shows the injured party that you know the incident was your fault and can help them feel better and save face and dignity.
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Apologizing gets people talking again, makes people feel comfortable with each other, and conveys the value you place on the relationship.
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A sincere apology allows you to mend trust with people and lets them know you're not proud of what you did and are generally careful not to hurt others. It pulls the focus on your virtues, not your mistakes.
2. Remember to pay attention to your mistakes. Acknowledge Their Feelings.
Don't ignore or make light of the situation, but respect your partner's feelings and show empathy. They only want to be understood, accepted for their feelings, and cared for by you. Taking responsibility for the hurtful things you said or did and being sincere in your apology will go a long way. Own up to precisely what you did wrong and identify it.
It's necessary to follow through with actions that reflect why you apologize. Be patient, showing you're sorry can take time. You may find it hard not to become defensive when your partner expresses discontent with something you did or said. Continue to show that you learned from the incident and are taking steps to prevent the same thing from happening repeatedly.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes and be flexible with how you think about the situation. Your partner will need your empathy to work through the conflict so that it doesn't linger and be detrimental to your relationship.
3. Repair the Damage & Mend Trust
Apologizing shows that you value your union. It can help heal by getting people to talk and be at ease again. A sincere apology lets your partner know you're not proud of what you did and do not want to repeat the behavior. An apology can let people know you don't like to hurt others and put the focus on your virtues rather than on your mistakes.
4. State You Will Do Better and Look to make Changes.
If you want to do better and save your relationship:
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Start by saying sorry and showing remorse, specifically by admitting to the wrong sincerely.
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Avoid excuses for your words and actions, and let the person know you recognize the results of your actions.
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Empathize with what they are going through due to what you said or did.
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Make an effort to repair the relationship and offer strategies to make things right, or ask if there's anything you can do.
Seek ways to repair and restore the relationship and demonstrate that it won't happen again. Try to emphasize that no one is perfect and we all fail, but we can change and stop repeating mistakes. For example, promise to manage time better if you're always late.
5. Let It Go and Begin Again
When issues are overlooked they can accumulate and cause resentment. So it's a good practice to let go of minor slights and big wounds as they happen so that you can begin again without the baggage. Begin again" rituals are helpful such as a mindful apology, a hug, a kiss, or a high-five, then taking active steps to improve in that area.This is a reliable way to turn lemons into lemonade.
People in relationships are human and will need to apologize for their missteps at times in relationships. So it is crucial to be willing to say sorry and make changes quickly to save your marriage. If you need helpful advice and solutions on how to deal with these times, consider Marriage in a Box.
Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online.
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