Little Things That Can Break Your Marriage
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A small comment, a thing that is forgotten, or an inconsiderate act can become a big argument. Often the big fights are about a lot of small things that have added up such as a forgotten anniversary, being late, dirty socks left on the floor, and so on. If not dealt with, we can let the irritations caused by these small things build up over time until they become a focal point for much deeper feelings, such as being taken for granted or ignored. Here are the top 5.
Decision Making
Most partners expect to make big decisions together, such as whether or not to buy a house, a car, or a career change. What about the small decisions such as where to go for dinner, whether or not to invite someone over, etc.? If one partner has to make all of the decisions all of the time, then the other partner is being the lazy partner in the relationship. Over time, that gets old and leads to resentment.
Doing Your Share
Doing your share of the housework is part of being reliable. If you’re not holding up your end of your responsibilities, your spouse could quickly feel like they can’t count on you to do other things. Eventually, they will begin to feel taken advantage of, and the relationship will sour.
Complaints
Some people are incessant naggers or complainers; however, most of us only complain when something really irritates us. How hard is it to pick up your dirty socks or underwear and put them in the laundry basket? Why can’t you put on makeup once in a while, even if you aren’t going anywhere? When our spouses register a complaint to us, they are looking for us to take some action to change that behavior. Don’t let those complaints build up until your spouse finally explodes. Acknowledge the complaint and take some action or talk it out.
Friendship
A good spouse is someone who can also be a good friend. After years of marriage, you should be able to read your partner’s moods enough to know if they are down or happy. Make an effort to communicate and respond to them. When your husband or wife is upset, do your best to comfort them. Did your spouse recently get a promotion at work, or perhaps even reach their goal weight after months of hard work? Your partner needs to know that you take pride in his or her accomplishments and are supportive of them.
Important Dates
Not everyone is good at remembering specific details in a relationship, but you need to make an effort to remember anniversaries, birthdays, Valentines day, etc. People tend to build up expectations when a significant date nears. If it comes and goes with no acknowledgment from you, it is the same as if you had slapped them in the face. While you don’t have to have an over the top gift, you do need to do something to “celebrate” the date. Make them a special dinner. Put together a collage of photos of special things you did together. Anything that shows your spouse how much you care about them will do.