How to Support Your Spouse During Hard Times
Posted on
Supporting your spouse during difficult times is essential, as stress can create conflicts and disagreements in your marriage. Stress can cause negative feelings like irritability, anxiety, and fatigue, but it can also provide opportunities to learn how to support each other better. No matter how challenging the situation, being a supportive partner is crucial.
Why is Emotional Support Important?
Emotional support becomes even more critical during tough times. Supporting your partner makes all the difference in your relationship's direction. Stress can affect both partners, so giving each other emotional support is needed. When you provide emotional support, you can create a deeper and more meaningful love between you and your spouse.
What Not to Do:
Don't Minimize their problems.
There are things you should avoid doing when trying to be supportive. For instance, you should not minimize your partner's problems by saying, "It's not the end of the world." Doing so can invalidate their feelings and make them feel like they are overreacting. Instead, avoid commenting on their emotions and focus on being there for them.
Don't Try to Fix their problems.
It would be best not to try to fix your partner's problems when they come to you for support. Your role is to listen and provide comfort, not to solve their problems for them. Even if they ask for advice, be careful not to give too much of it. Instead, ask them what they think they should do and provide guidance aligning with their thoughts.
Don't Neglect Your Sex Life.
There's a good chance your spouse is not thinking about sex if they are feeling intense anxiety or grief. If you suspect intimacy might help them, there's no better way to connect and release stress. Sex releases the chemicals that make you feel good and deepen the bond between you. Break up the routine; having sex may help your spouse forget they have a concern for the time being.
How to Offer Support:
Ask if They Want to Talk about It
Don't be afraid to ask your spouse how they are coping, and if they want to talk, let them know that you're there if they feel like talking and that you care. If they ask for advice and you have a potential solution, you can gently suggest it for your spouse to consider.
Listen Actively
Using good listening skills shows care for someone struggling and lets them know that someone else has heard their pain. Active listening is essential to emotional support and can make a difference. It means that you give your partner full attention and show interest in their words by:
- Using open body language, facing them with a relaxed face, and uncrossed arms and legs
- Avoid distractions, be mindful.
- Avoid interrupting.
- Ask for clarification and summarize.
Build Them Up
Times of personal difficulty, especially rejection, can make people feel down and cause them to doubt themselves and their abilities. If you notice that your spouse seems to be going through some self-doubt, a sincere compliment or two can help improve their outlook. You'll want to keep a few things in mind when offering compliments:
- Choose compliments to highlight specific strengths versus empty compliments.
- Overdoing it can make people skeptical of the compliment.
Be Affectionate
Physical contact is one of the best ways to be supportive, no matter what happens. Even if you aren't happy, holding hands or cuddling can restore intimacy and provide comfort and support.
Provide Reassurance and Comfort
Being a supportive partner means reminding your significant other that you love them, believe in them, and are always there for them in a gentle manner. A loving partner's words can bring comfort and assurance. Simple gestures and touch can offer your partner extra comfort.
Take Over Some of their Chores or To-Do list Items.
Couples must support each other during difficult times to maintain a healthy relationship. When your partner feels overwhelmed by everything on their to-do list during a challenging time, helping with some of the duties is an act of emotional support and is like giving energy back to them.
Support their Solution.
Similarly, when your partner presents a solution to a problem, it's important to offer encouragement and support instead of criticizing or pointing out flaws. If they ask for your opinion, provide gentle guidance to help them succeed.
Couples should support each other during stressful situations that may strain their marriage. Kindness, support, and romance are essential to maintain a healthy relationship. If you're struggling with relationship issues, consider using Marriage In a Box as a resource. This platform provides access to tools and techniques professionals use for relationship counseling. You can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching services on the site. Check out the available kits and sources of information online to improve your relationship.
Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises