How To Recognize When The Emotional Marriage Bond Is Broken
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Marriages are fragile. They are held together with the emotional bonds of love, respect, and intimacy. Many married couples go through rough times. Living with another person, blending your lives is not always easy, no matter how much you love one another. When you have children, you can become so busy with activities, work, and running the household that you may miss signs that tell you your marriage is in trouble.
However, letting the friction go on for months could lead to irreparable damage that may not be easy to mend. Temporary roadblocks can lead to separation unless you find a way to overcome them.
How do you know if the emotional connection is broken?
- You and Your Spouse have little to talk about anymore.
When the only thing you both talk about is the kids, or keeping the household running, there may not be an emotional connection between you anymore. Of course, parents must talk about the children, and, unfortunately, bills and meals, and grocery shopping also must be regular topics of conversation. However, if these things are all you talk about, the bond between you may be broken.
- The verbal language in your marriage has shifted from caring and kindness to impatience and criticism.
When you care about someone, you are careful not to speak harsh or angry words that attack their character because you love them. If your spouse criticizes everything you do, snaps at you when things don’t get done in their timeframe, or ridicules you in public, they have lost respect for you, and your emotional connection has been broken.
- You Have the Same Argument Repeatedly.
Arguments will happen in every marriage, even healthy ones. Research shows that couples who argue effectively are ten times more likely to have a happy marriage than those who sweep issues under the rug. If your time together is plagued by the same old argument and there is no resolution, there's a significant disconnect. Before long, you’ll start avoiding each other for fear of sparking another argument.
- You avoid spending time with each other.
In the first years of love, most couples can hardly stand to be apart. Even after years go by, you should still enjoy spending time with one another, laughing, and engaging in lighthearted, playful behavior, at least occasionally.
Coming home late daily, spending weekends and holidays away for work or with friends and trying to spend less time at home all indicate a failing relationship. If you can’t hang out with your partner, something is wrong in your marriage.
- Date Nights Are a Thing of Days Gone by.
Can't remember your last date night? If you're not planning any important or special events together and not spending time together generally, that's not good news for your relationship.
- You Don't Have Sex Anymore.
Sex may not be all there, but it’s an essential part of a healthy, intimate marriage. A Social Psychology and Personality Science study found that, on average, happy couples had sex once a week. Every marriage goes through lull periods in the bedroom. Not wanting to rip your partner’s clothes off every night is no reason to panic. However, if you’re both physically healthy enough but go months or even years without sex, a deeper issue like a lack of emotional intimacy or romance may be the issue.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to repair your Marriage!
Have a conversation with your spouse about your concerns about the issues with the emotional bond in your marriage. The most powerful tool we have for resolving our conflicts is listening and understanding one another. When we invite our partners to share, truly listen, and understand their feelings, you can get to the bottom of the real issues.
Stop Defending your castle and Say I Love You, and I’m sorry.
The healing of the emotional bond in marriage is best accomplished with the commitment of both parties, where both parties are willing and motivated to spend 15 minutes each day to put your marriage back together.
Marriages requires work and putting in the effort on things that bond you as a couple is part of that. Marriage in a Box is a set of 173 marriage therapy techniques that you and your spouse can work on together in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises Sign up for a free trial of the Marriage In A Box online tracking tool!