How To Help Your Child When They’re The ‘New Kid’
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As if orchestrating new living arrangements, packing, moving, and the disorientation of a new place weren’t stressful enough, you also have a little one (or ones) who will be transferring schools. Now you’re worrying for them, too. Will they make friends? Will they hold the move against you when be resentful about leaving friends and their comfort zones behind? This move might seem like a tragedy to your child, but take heart. There are plenty of things you can do to make the transition as smooth as possible.
How To Help Your Child During A Move
Moving is stressful, but it’s also the beginning of a new adventure. There’s excitement in the new and unknown, even if it’s scary. Share your excitement for new adventures - while also sharing the highs and lows of relocating. Let your child know that it’s challenging for you, too.
Children tend to have one of two reactions to a move; those who have faced academic challenges or social exclusion may be excited about the idea of a new start while most will focus on the negatives: leaving friends, teammates, and their sense of security behind. Acknowledge your child’s feelings about the move while focusing on the excitement of new experiences. Research activities and opportunities your child is sure to love about your new town (museums, zoos, the mall, attractions) and make plans to explore them soon after you settle.
Will your child get their own room? Maybe you can discuss plans for how it will be painted and decorated. Maybe a bigger yard means an opportunity for a new pet? Try to give your child something to look forward to, even if they resist at first.
Get Organized For A Strong Start
Research the high schools and elementary schools in your future neighborhood to find out what’s available. Get your child registered for their new school as soon as you’ve made a decision since public charter and target schools often have waiting lists. Sign up for any extracurriculars and make sure to get copies of transcripts before the move. Scheduling for immunizations may be easier now, before the move, than after with a new doctor, so make an appointment and get a copy of your child’s updated immunization records while you’re there.
Before You Move
You may want to throw a going away party for your child and their friends. Make sure everyone exchanges emails, phone numbers, and mailing addresses so they can stay in touch. Supply T-shirts and fabric markers so that the party-goers can design and sign each others’ shirts, which will make a lovely keepsake for your child. Don’t forget to take lots of group photos, candid shots, and video goodbye messages.
This is also a good time to print some maps of your new town to share with your child. One should show your new home in relation to stores, school, and parks, but also be sure to print a map of your city’s downtown, and encourage your child to research places they’d like to visit.
Enjoy The Festivals & Parades
If you’re moving before school starts, you’ll have time to explore your new neighborhood - and make friends with the locals. Google or search for Facebook events in your new area and take advantage of all the upcoming festivals, parades, and activities your town has to offer. Not only will this help you get the lay of the land, but your child might be won over by all the fun.
Visit Local Parks & Shops
Spend some time exploring the local parks and encourage your child to be on the lookout for future classmates. A simple, “I just moved here and am going to Lincoln Elementary,” to an afternoon playmate might lead to a familiar face on that dreaded first day of school. You can also initiate this conversation with any new friend’s parents. Depending on your outgoingness, you might also introduce yourself to your new neighbors.
And while you’re exploring your new surroundings, dedicate a full day to exploring your new downtown, big or small. Spend the day wandering and window-shopping and enjoy a meal in a local eatery. You’ll also want to check out your neighborhood library, any museums, and places your child found interesting on the maps.
Moving to a new town, state, or even country can be stressful on both you and your child, but it’s possible to transform fear into (nervous) excitement with a positive attitude. If your kid doesn’t see this relocation as an opportunity, give it time and let them come around. And always keep pointing out the good stuff!