How To Build Trust In Your Marriage
An indispensable ingredient in building and maintaining a healthy marriage is trust.
Trust is the act of placing complete confidence in and being able to depend on someone. It is the foundation of every relationship from which a strong connection and intimacy can be built. Without trust a relationship can’t grow and progress to a deeper level.
Spouses must feel comfortable enough and safe enough to open up and be vulnerable to each other for intimacy to occur. Truly knowing someone and allowing them to know you build acceptance and love. True long-lasting love requires total trust.
Here are a few tips on how to build trust between you and your partner or earn trust back if your relationship has suffered from broken trust issues.
- Talk things out.
Communication is an important factor in building trust between partners in a relationship. When you live with someone, you can sense when something is wrong. If you sense something is wrong, ask your partner to talk about the issue. Even if the issue is an incidence of broken trust, listen to your partner and try to understand their feelings.
Validate their feelings, admit where you messed up, and talk about a better way to handle the issue in the future. Sitting on problems and brooding just keeps the anger continuously just below the surface. To build or rebuild trust in a relationship, both partners must be able to communicate about their problems to move forward.
- Don’t keep secrets from each other; be transparent.
Building trust in a relationship between you and your partner requires transparency. No withheld honesty or secrets. If you are trying to rebuild trust in your marriage, it is essential to be open and honest in everything you say and do. When you have spent too much money or run up credit card debt, don’t attempt to hide that from your spouse. If you keep secrets or tell lies to your partner, you are knowingly deceiving them. Continuous deception will erode the trust in your relationship.
- Don’t make promises you cannot keep.
Just like you cannot spend money you do not have, you can’t make promises that you don’t have the ability to keep. Keep your words and your promises! If you promised your partner that you are going to do something, make sure you do it. Trust will grow when what you say consistently matches what you do.
- Don’t take your marriage for granted.
A marriage is a partnership. Both partners need to feel free to share their feelings and needs. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue unrelated to the marriage. They may need to talk to someone they trust, or they may just need some space to figure things out. Gently let them know that you are there for them to talk to or just lean on.
Trust often results from consistency. We tend to have the most trust in people who are there for us consistently through good times and bad. Regularly showing someone that you’re there for them lets them know you care about them and is an effective way to build trust.
- Admit your mistakes and say you’re sorry
When you attempt to hide your mistakes, people know that you are being dishonest. By being open, you show your vulnerable side, and this helps build trust with other people.
This is because they perceive you to be more like them. Everyone makes mistakes.
How you handle the mistakes you make is the true measure of character. Being willing to own up to your mistakes and apologize to your partner lets them know that you value them and your marriage. Admitting you made a mistake is a true sign of maturity and one of the essential building blocks of trust.
Building trust in a marriage doesn’t happen instantly. It takes time, patience, and effort. You build trust by sincere and honest communication, being consistently dependable in word and deeds, and being willing to admit your mistakes, apologize, and move forward.Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises