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Honor & Respect Are Essential To Marriage

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Honor and respect are necessary for relationships to thrive. Each partner has individual personality traits, talents, quirks, past experiences, and interests. Showing mutual respect demonstrates an appreciation for each other's uniqueness and dissipates the fear of being different. Most relationships start in a good place, but many couples lose respect for their partner. Without mutual respect and honor, a marriage can go downhill into a painful, stressful, and unhappy place. It is possible to have mutual respect even if a partner disagrees on specific issues. With respect in a relationship, it will be easier to solve problems and deal with issues.

What does it mean to Honor Your Partner?

Webster's dictionary defines honor as high respect, esteem, and exalted title or rank. Practically, that means recognizing our spouse's worth and deciding to cherish them as a treasure. Honor puts our other half ahead of ourselves and others and gives them the best version of ourselves instead of giving that to others. Lastly, the little things we do every day build honor in marriage.

Building Honor 

It takes practice to build an honor mindset and attitude in a marriage. Remembering the promise to hold our spouse in high esteem can be difficult, especially if angry with them. We also tend to forget all the wonderful things about them; when life gets hard. One strategy is to keep an "I love you" list of things about them that make you smile. It can contain extraordinary things they say or do, funny moments with them, and ways they differ from you that you appreciate. The list reminds us of why we love our spouses, and it helps to review it when we are upset with them.

Honoring someone means respecting and celebrating that person. To give honor accepts and appreciates someone as they are without having to agree with them on all issues. There are so many ways to honor someone; here are a few:

  1. Pay compliments and celebrate accomplishments.
  2. Treat them with respect and kindness.
  3. Be understanding and helpful.
  4. Listen and be patient.
  5. Overlook mistakes and encourage.
  6. Forgive and show compassion.
  7. Find common ground and appreciate your differences.
  8. Be open with your heart, eyes, and mind.

Respect is an Action, not a Feeling.

Showing respect is not based on a feeling; it is an action. It is a loving gesture to ask your spouse what feels respectful or disrespectful to them. Giving unconditional respect shows a positive regard toward the other person, regardless of their behavior. Choosing to show respect directs behavior toward that action and declares a value for someone. We demonstrate respect by how we behave toward another person. When you appreciate each other, you uphold healthy boundaries by showing mutual respect.

Why is Honor & Respect Important in a Relationship?

Building a bridge to connect will draw you closer to your partner, not judgment and harsh attitudes. Showing honor and respect will move you away from destructive attitudes toward your partner and help build and maintain a healthy relationship. Honor measures a person's integrity, ethics, and values, such as honesty, compassion, and kindness. Honor is at the center of who we are as humans and how we interact with others, and it strongly influences our lives and choices.

How to Rebuild Honor & Respect in your Marriage

 If your partner is losing respect for you, you can help repair the damage by showing that you are responsible, reliable, and trustworthy. However, it's also important to set healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself if you feel disrespected. Respect goes both ways, so reframe your attitude about your partner if you think your respect for them is slipping. This way, an example, an open door may be set for them to respond in kind.

  • Start with Communication about How You Both Feel.
  • Acknowledge Your Mistakes and Apologize.
  • Earn Back their Trust Through Your Actions.
  • Observe Your Partner's Boundaries and enforce yours.
  • Practice Compassion for Your Partner.
  • Listen with an Open Mind.
  • Treat your partner the way you wish to be treated.

Marriage In A Box is a great resource that can help with tips and suggestions to help build respect and honor in marriage. It enables access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information online at

As a neutral third party, a professional counselor or therapist can serve as a guide, to contain and consider feelings (anger/guilt/fear), examine causes and resiliency, and help work through conflicts if needed.

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