Five Ways to Calm Holiday Stress
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Why is the Holiday Season so Hard for Most People?
Holiday stress is natural, but there are ways to manage it. The holidays include chores like cooking, decorating, shopping, wrapping, social events, and stressful family time. However, many people find this time of year to be a challenging time emotionally with missing family members who have passed, loneliness, or isolation. The good news is that there are ways to cope with these complicated feelings. It is helpful to learn how to survive the holidays with your mental health intact.
Understanding What Triggers Holiday Stress.
Making all the meals and decorating to perfection can become overwhelming. It can also be hard to find the time to attend every party, have family time, and take care of the everyday duties of work or children. Holiday stress can be triggered by becoming overwhelmed by having too much to do, feelings of loss over family that have passed away, or loneliness for those with limited friends and family.
There's a desire to cram in every tradition and event to make each day memorable. Stress can pile up quickly with the added cost of travel to visit family members. It can also be challenging to cope with difficult family members.
Five Ways to Calm Holiday Stress
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Set Realistic Expectations
We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves and our loved ones for the "perfect" holiday. When circumstances cause us to be unable to meet this unrealistic expectation, we feel frustrated or disappointed. We must be realistic about what we care about most during the holiday season and look at the time, energy, and money available when planning. Being honest and authentic can cultivate peace and joy during the holiday season.
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Accept Imperfection
Before preparing for the holidays, acknowledge that things will not always be perfect because imperfection is healthy and normal. For some of us, it takes a little practice. Avoid setting the bar too high; remember you are human to avoid feeling upset when you can't do it all. We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves and our loved ones for the "perfect" holiday. When circumstances cause us to be unable to meet this unrealistic expectation, we feel frustrated or disappointed.
We must be realistic about what we care about most during the holiday season and look at the time, energy, and money available when planning. Being honest and realistic can cultivate more peace and joy during the holiday season. Try writing down what you imagine for this holiday season and see if you can do a reality check and shift expectations to a mix of stressful moments and moments of joy.
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Establish clear boundaries.
Social obligations can quickly become overwhelming during the holiday season, and dealing with challenging relationships or COVID-related stress can contribute to feeling overwhelmed. Too many activities, even fun activities, can culminate in holiday stress, leaving us feeling frazzled rather than fulfilled. Be aware of your limitations and permit yourself to set boundaries for those activities in which you partake.
For activities that feel more like an obligation than a pleasure, consider a pre-designated amount of time or avoid them altogether. See if you can focus on something you enjoy about the experience.
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Make a budget and stick to it.
- Begin a budget early in the season to help you be more intentional about your holiday spending.
- Organizing your budget with categories like travel, gifts, or food makes managing planned purchases and their costs easier.
- Shop smarter and compare prices online or limit your shopping to Black Friday or Cyber Monday events; use tools and apps to maximize savings.
Remember that the commercial aspect of the holidays may not be why you, your family, or your children are the most excited about the holidays. What other things or childhood memories do you enjoy about the holidays? Please focus on the religious, family-oriented, or seasonal activities that give our holidays meaning. A great way to refocus our holidays is through volunteering our time to help support others.
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Respond with Kindness
If you can't change others' actions during the stresses of the holiday season, you can change how you respond to situations. Be mindful that the holidays are tough for those who are alone or stressed. See if you can extend kindness to those without family and friends during this time of year.
If things get tense or difficult with someone, take a few deep breaths and shift your thinking to get a new perspective. Tell yourself that this person is suffering, causing them to act this way. It will soften frustration, help you be more compassionate, and remind you that it's not personal.
The holidays can be a mixture of joyful times and stressful times when families gather. Pulling off meal preparation, decorations, gifting, and possibly travel takes a lot of work and finances. This tension can affect family members, triggering negative behaviors, and the holidays may lose their luster. Consider using Marriage In a Box for helpful suggestions and guidance about managing stress during the holiday season.
Marriage In a Box provides access to tools and techniques professionals use for relationship issues. You can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching on the site. Check out the available kit and sources of information online.
Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises