Finding Happiness in Your Relationship
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Believe it or not, communication is not the most important component of a happy relationship, although it certainly contributes to the longevity and overall success of a partnership. Instead, “clarity” and “being deserving” are two fundamental elements of a successful marriage.
This means that in most harmonious relationships, both partners are:
- Clear in how they communicate what they want or need.
- Strongly believe that they deserve to be treated well and worth the effort it takes to change.
To determine if you feel deserving of love and to place value on both what you give and what you receive in your relationship, it can be helpful to:
- Identify two ways that you appreciate yourself.
- Identify two ways that you would like to appreciate yourself more than you currently do.
- Incorporate positivity in the way that you talk to yourself.
- Give yourself compliments in the same way that you do for your spouse.
When you are able to respect and appreciate yourself more, you will notice the positive impact that it can have on your relationship.
Healthy expression of your thoughts, feelings and opinions within your relationship can also aid you in finding happiness in your partnership. Communicating about these things can allow you and your partner to feel more connected and also allows both members of the couple to feel validated and supported. Using “I-statements” and taking ownership of your own feelings (rather than placing blame on others for your feelings) can assist you and your spouse in working through the inevitable disagreements or conflicts that happen in any relationship.
Effective communication and problem solving skills can minimize the amount of stress and tension during any type of conflict, as well as improve the confidence that each partner will feel when able to work through their problems successfully, building more trust and strengthening the couple’s bond.
Time spent together is also a major contributor to finding happiness within your marriage. It is important, however, to note that it is not the amount of time that a couple spends together than can nurture the relationship, but rather the quality of time spent together. This time should be considered enjoyable and should be considered a daily essential for the relationship.
It only takes about 15 minutes a day to be able to connect with your spouse and enjoy quality time. During this time, you can watch a movie, eat a meal, chat about your day, engage in a physical activity or participate in a shared hobby. Make this a priority and stick with it and soon both partners will be one step closer to feeling happier in the relationship.
Learn more about our Couples Therapy Exercises