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Establish Boundaries To Protect Your Marriage

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When you agreed to marry, you both decided that you loved each so much that you wanted to spend the rest of your lives with each other. By repeating your marriage vows, you agreed to love each other unconditionally and bond yourselves together as man and wife. To ensure your marriage remains healthy, you both need to do what is necessary to protect that bond between you.

Each partner has parents and relatives, friends of the same sex and of the opposite sex, and co-workers that they spend time with and talk to. How you handle relatives, friends and co-workers can either enhance your marriage relationship or hurt it.

  • How would your spouse feel about you talking to your parents about something you both have not discussed yet?
  • Do you think your spouse would react well to a social media post of you and an old flame having lunch at a restaurant?
  • Is your spouse okay with you choosing to go out with friends rather than stay home with them?
  • Would your spouse be understanding If you stay late at work with a co-worker of the opposite sex?

To protect the bond between you and your spouse, boundaries are important.  Boundaries are the key to keeping your marriage healthy. Here are some boundaries you and your spouse should discuss create plan for to protect you from danger.

Boundaries with Extended Family

While some extended family members can be helpful and supportive, others can be overly critical or difficult to get along with, which can create stress in your marriage. 

Create ground rules that will help you build a healthy relationship with your in-laws and extended family.

  1. Never throw your spouse under the bus. If you receive an invitation from a family member, agree to tell them you need to check with your spouse to make sure that date is available rather than just accept or decline.
  2. Never allow extended family to trash talk your spouse. You and your spouse are a team, and you need to support each other. You both need to agree to politely ask family members to be respectful of your relationship with your spouse.
  3. Never discuss private marriage matters with your family. You may be mad at your spouse and call your sister to vent. DON’T. When you are over your anger and you and your spouse have made up, your sister will still be thinking about the J_ _ K you married.

Boundaries with Friends

Everyone needs friends they can pal around with and talk to about life’s ups and downs. However, sometimes friendships can raise a red flag to a spouse or create a division between you and your spouse. You and your spouse should sit down and discuss how you can both create healthy balance between friends and your marriage.

  1. Don’t air your dirty laundry to your friends. Avoid talking outside your relationship about issues you and your spouse haven’t discussed together.
  2. Don’t spend too much time with friends of the opposite sex. Spending too much time with an opposite-sex friend can endanger the health of your marriage. While there may be nothing untoward going on, why insert jealousy and distrust in your marriage?
  3. Don’t choose your friends over your spouse. While outings with the guys or nights out with the girls are fun every now and then, agree not to make them a regular habit. You and your spouse need time together to bond as well.

Boundaries with Co-workers and Superiors

Relationships with co-workers can often be difficult to navigate. You spend a lot of time a work and often develop close friendships with people you work with. Superiors will ask you to stay late or come in early or perhaps work on a weekend to get projects completed. You and your spouse need to develop a plan to handle your co-workers and superiors so that their demands do not interfere with your marriage.

  1. Avoid talking about private marital issues with co-workers. Leave your private matters and home and your work issues at work.
  2. Avoid staying late to work with co-workers or superiors of the opposite sex. Spending too much time after hours at work can blur the boundaries between working relationships and intimate relationships. Avoid that temptation and spend your after hours with your spouse.
  3. Avoid giving up your free time to please your boss. Ambition is admirable, but you need to make your marriage a priority.
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