Do You Know Your Partner’s Love Language?
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Our love language is whatever helps us feel loved in our relationships. We need to know our personal love language so we can make specific requests of our partner in order to best have our needs met. We also need to know our partner’s love language so we can help them best meet their needs. Our Love language helps deepen the relationship and create a bond of intimacy that is so essential to a marriage.
No one type of love language is better or worse than another and most people use a combination of love languages rather than just one. Love languages can be broken down into:
Encouragement and appreciation.
People who require affirmation and empathy like to be listened to. They feel validated when their partners take time to listen to their concerns, encourage their endeavors and show appreciate for the things that they do. Criticism and lack of appreciation or being taken for granted will deeply wound this partner in a relationship. Little things like leaving a little love note in their briefcase or on their dresser, sending a random text during the day saying thank you for something they did or sitting down at the end of the day to chat and listen to what went on in their day really touch the heartstrings.
Touch.
Some people require physical touch to know they are loved. They fell that they are a priority in your life when you regularly show some type of physical affection. Lack of intimacy, withholding sex or only brief physical encounters can lead to this partner feeling neglected and questioning your feelings for them. Make it a point to kiss them, hug them or hold their hand. Schedule regular time for sex and physical intimacy to nurture your relationship.
Time.
While some people measure your feeling for them in what they say or do, others measure it in how much time your spend with them. They feel that if you spend time with them exclusively and within group activities, they are a valued part of your life. Ignoring them, tuning them out with other distractions, and/or neglecting to spend quality time with them will lead this partner to feel unloved and devalued. Take time out of your busy schedule to sit and chat, take a walk or just go to the gym or some other activity together. Plan a couples weekend or intimate date together to keep the park alive in your relationship.
Thoughtfulness and acts of kindness.
Many people need to feel they are in a partnership and are “always on your mind”. Kind words and gestures and expressions of gratitude can stir up feelings of longing in this partner. Forgetting special occasions and/or leaving most of the household chores to them will likely stir up anger and resentment. Make a big deal out of romantic occasions with flowers and the works, offer to help out with daily chores or errands or better yet do them together, and let them know you are thinking of them with random texts, cards or notes.
Whatever your partner’s love language is, cater to it and your relationship will blossom. If you are not sure what their love language is, think about what hurts or upsets them the most and that will give you a pretty good idea.
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