Change The Temperature Of Your Marriage
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We measure our physical health by our body temperature. If the temperature rises above OR below 97.8, it is time to see a doctor and determine what is wrong. When our temperature is 97.8, all is well. The same thing is true of our marriage. If you and your spouse spend most of your time engaged in heated verbal exchanges, there might be a problem. When you spend more of your time in frigid silence than in loving, happy conversation, there may be a problem. How do you change the temperature of your marriage?
Research shows that the number one reason for divorce is lack of or poor communication. Here are six tips to improve your communication.
Don’t Nag…Gently Remind. “ I can’t remember..did I ask you to take a look at the tires on my car? It seems to be pulling a little to the left.”
Don’t Complain.., Request a Change. “Would you try to put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom?” You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. Asking nicely lets your spouse know that you love them but need them to change a habit.
Don’t Blame.. Assume the best. “ I’m not sure what happened but I saved some dinner for you in the microwave if you are hungry.” Taking an understanding tone with your spouse lets them feel free to open up to you about whatever happened.
Do Express Appreciation. Try to find one thing that your spouse does for you each day to say Thank you for. “ Thank you for taking out the trash. That is a huge help.” Showing Appreciation for something done lets your spouse know that you do notice what they do for you.
Do Apologize. If you do something to hurt your spouse’s feelings or make some type of mistake, be sincere and honest in asking for forgiveness. “I’m sorry I snapped at you this evening.” Apologizing immediately lets your spouse know that you are aware of their feelings and care about making it right.
Do Share. Remember when you were dating and would spend hours sharing your hopes, dreams, feelings and opinions. You did so in a happy, conversational manner. Continue that. “ I’m excited about our vacation to the mountains.” Sharing is what bonds you together and creates intimacy.
The goal in your marriage is to learn to communicate in an environment of understanding and intimate fellowship.
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