Best Way Make Marriage Decisions
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Successful marriages are those where the husband and wife function together and utilize each others’ strength. Perhaps one of you is better at finances than the other. Then that spouse is in charge of the marital budget. The other spouse may be better at planning, so they map out family outings, vacations, and family devotions. As on a sports team, each player uses his or her talents to work with the others for the benefit of the entire team. Usually, if one player tries to do it all themselves, the team suffers. If one player insists on playing a position he or she is not gifted for, the same thing happens.
As a couple, you need to talk about how you will make decisions together as a team.
Important Decisions Should Be Made Together
Every decision does not need to be made together, but those that importantly impact your marriage, do. You and your spouse need to discuss. What are the essential decisions that you should make together? Many couples consider these decisions to be ones that need to be discussed and agreed upon.
- Where you will live
- Whether to have children or not
- Who would work/stay home after having the children
- Parenting styles
- How to spend and to save money
- How to spend free time
- The amount of time you will spend with extended family/in-laws
- Household chores
- Decisions regarding a crisis
- When to take vacations and where to go
- Future plans
Discuss how you will handle making decisions together.
If either of you attempts to dominate the decision making, your marriage will undoubtedly suffer. Unity is the key to successful decision-making in marriage. You need to respect your spouse’s opinion enough to include their valuable input in decisions by openly sharing thoughts and opinions and respecting each others’ point of view.
What about when you strongly disagree or can't find a compromise?
Here are a few tips for when you can't seem to agree about an important decision.
- If things begin to escalate, take a breather and agree to discuss at a later time.
- Talk out your concerns on each side. It’s essential for each spouse to be heard and understood. Share with your spouse the underlying reasons for your hesitancies, so that they can be addressed, and you can get a second perspective.
- Ask yourself if you making a decision based on emotion. There may be something from your early years or history that is causing you to become reactionary or dig your heels in.
- Brainstorm solution ideas for the decision you are making. Propose several solutions and write them all down to look at. Evaluate each one together.
- Try out one of the solution ideas and re-evaluate as needed.
- Ask yourselves if you are you coming together to review the pros/cons and potential outcomes of the decision logically. Sometimes this is necessary to come to a proper choice that is the best for both of you.
Decision making together may be difficult, but it can also bring you closer together if you handle it effectively.
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