Are You on the Same Page With Your Spouse?
Humans develop and evolve daily, and our values and needs can change over time. Therefore, it's not a surprise that staying on the same page with our partners is a challenge. Being on the same page involves being aligned on the things that matter to you and your future, such as lifestyle, kids, money, and friends. Needs in a healthy marriage involve trust, shared values, and a respectful connection. To avoid conflict, ensure your list matches your partner as closely as possible.
Six Reasons Partners May Not Get What They Need from Their Marriage
1. They Don't Know What We Want.
Try making a list of your wants and write why they are essential. Clarity means you clearly understand what you desire from your relationship so that you can move forward.
2. They Don't Know How to Ask for Help
It might seem overwhelming to find the right words to express our feelings. Knowing the exact words is less important than the attitude we present when making our needs known.
3. They Aren't Sure It Will Change Anything
Many couples sabotage their marriage by failing to push through barriers and open the conversation. Knowing our partner hears our needs is the thing that keeps the conversation moving forward. When that is gone, it strips us of the desire to try.
4. They Are Afraid of What Their Spouse Will Think
Fearing rejection keeps us from opening our hearts and meeting our needs to move our relationship forward as a couple. Marriage should be the safety zone where we can freely express our needs, desires, and wishes. When this freedom is not there, it is a sign of trust issues that can affect every aspect of married life.
5. They Feel Guilty for Wanting What We Want
If feeling guilty keeps us from expressing our needs, a negative cycle can form that keeps us in a downward spiral of unfulfilled desires and unmet needs. Part of the beauty of a marriage partnership is that our needs are known, and our partner responds positively.
6. They Want Their Spouse to Be Genuine in Meeting Their Needs
We don't want the meeting their needs to be a burden or obligation, so we withhold asking for what we need and want. It is not fair to expect our spouse to read our minds. Being clear about our needs and desires allows them to love us well.
Wants vs. Needs in a Relationship
A need in a marriage is something you must have, whereas a want is something you desire. A relationship feels safer and more secure when needs, boundaries, and expectations are known. Wants are desires, but things will still be good if they aren't present.
The Danger of Unmet Needs in Your Marriage
Your brain pursues romantic love with long-term intentions. Being in love benefits your physical and mental well-being, self-esteem, and relationship satisfaction. We know that effective relationship communication is essential for happiness and longevity in the marriage. Healthy relationships meet the basic needs of each partner involved by supporting, sharing, and giving to one another.
How to Talk to Your Spouse About What You Need & Want.
Figure out your priorities so you know what you want.
It will help if your needs are listed and prioritized so you can talk to your partner about what you want and need and have clarity.
Practice the talk.
Choose the right time and place.
Learn how to communicate assertively.
Be specific and clear.
Ask for one thing at a time to avoid overload.
Let your partner know your boundaries.
Avoid blame. Use" I "statements.
Marriage is a Two-way Street. Discuss Your and Their Needs and Wants.
When your partner responds to your wants and needs, hearing and responding to what they need is crucial. Listen to what your partner says with an open mind and respectful attitude and give as well as take.
Lovingly State What You Need and Listen for their Feedback.
Expressing your needs and wants with love and affection motivates your spouse to continue doing the same for you. In this way, you demonstrate your commitment and loyalty to them.
What Happens When We Share our Wants and Needs with Our Spouses?
Loving your partner allows you to open yourself to them and discover your inner capacity for unconditional love, which can inspire your partner to do the same. For both partners to be and stay on the same page, they must understand and respond to each other's needs. Staying on the same page with our partners is demanding and requires constant communication and checking in with each other because humans can change over time.
Trying to be on the same page with your spouse is very important. Maintaining your marriage and family bond requires good communication techniques and a lot of openness. Consider using Marriage in a Box if you need helpful advice and suggestions on working through this.
Marriage In a Box is a great resource that gives you access to the simple tools, techniques, and solutions that professional marriage counselors use for typical relationship issues. Marriage coaching is also available on the site. You can set goals and earn rewards. Feel free to check out the available kit and sources of information onlineDownload Our Worksheet And Discover Your Top Relational Desires!