Adolescent Anxiety: How You and Your Teen Can Learn to Cope
Posted on by Joyce Wilson
Anxiety is a physical response to fear. It’s the body’s “fight or flight” reaction to a real or perceived threat. When the threat is real, you fight or flee, and your body uses up the chemicals it released. When the threat is not real, your body is flooded with neurochemicals with nowhere to go. You shake, your heart pounds, your breathing gets shallow, etc. Anxiety results from your body burning off these chemicals when there wasn’t physical exertion to do it. Some people perceive threats more easily and more often, leading to anxiety or even panic attacks. However, there are ways to cope with this once you realize what is happening. If your teen is prone to anxiety, here are ways that you and they can cope.
Coping Mechanisms
First, help them realize that their body will not stay that way. This is a short-term response, and their body will calm down eventually. Their heart will not explode. Telling them that this is temporary and that they can make it go away is the first step to calming down; have them take deep breaths.
After their feelings pass, talk to your teen about what made them upset. Finding out what triggers their anxiety, and whether it’s a reasonable or remote possibility, can help you talk with them about how to deal with future triggers. Stay calm as you help them decide how to respond better in the future. For example, was the trigger really something dangerous or something imagined, that they can learn to deal with and not worry about? Are they worrying about a test they have prepared for, or are they fearful that you might die on your way to work? The former is reasonable, but perhaps unnecessary, while the latter is much less likely. Helping them make those distinctions can enable them to think about what makes them anxious and to recognize when fears are triggered, as well as to think about how likely the fear might come to pass. Once they realize that they are okay (and you will be too), their anxiety will decrease.
Helping your teen practice healthy life skills such as eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep, will also help their body be better able to deal with stress. Accepting that they cannot control everything and learning to be okay with that will also lower their stress levels. If you model low anxiety behavior (responding calmly when things don’t go as planned, learning relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga), your teen will see that they can also learn to relax.
Warning Signs
There are several things to watch for if you have an anxious teen. When ignored, anxiety can lead to depression or to dangerous behaviors such as cutting or experimenting with sex or drugs. Anxious teens are also twice as likely to use alcohol as a coping mechanism, especially for girls and young women, so you want to look for changes in their behavior. Have their eating habits changed, or are they more irritable or impulsive than usual? Look for emotional symptoms such as moodiness, lethargy, forgetfulness, isolation, lying, and antisocial behavior, as well as physical symptoms such as difficulty concentrating, lack of sleep, headaches and stomach aches.
Conclusion
Being a teenager is difficult enough, and some of these listed behaviors are considered “normal” for teens, so you want to check for changes in regular behavior such as avoiding activities or situations they used to enjoy. If your teen uses avoidance to cope with things that scare them, they might miss out on socializing that helps them learn to make friends, date and assert themselves, developing them into competent and confident adults. Help your teen to do their best and be happy with it, to work through their anxious moments, and to be secure in the knowledge that they are not alone and that they can and will get better.
Joyce Wilson worked as a teacher for decades. She believes knowledge is the key to a more successful and fruitful life.