8 Ways to Show Respect For Your Partner
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In a healthy relationship, partners are equals, which means that neither partner has “authority” over the other. Each partner is free to live their own life, which can include deciding to share some aspects of their life with their partner. Respect also means that, while we may not always agree with our partner/s, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment. This trust can be built over time as your relationship progresses and you learn more about each other.
How Do You Show Respect in a Healthy Relationship?
Respect in a relationship is reflected in how you treat each other on a daily basis. Even if you disagree or have an argument (and arguments do happen, even in healthy relationships!), you are able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings by “fighting” fair. Respect isn’t about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. Respect is actually about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.
In a healthy relationship, respect looks like:
- Talking openly and honestly with each other
Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and one of the hardest. That’s because being open and honest with your partner means being open and honest with yourself. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. If you’re upset, it’s important to talk openly about what’s bothering you. Don’t be accusatory. Use “I” statements, like “I feel really ignored and unimportant when you cancel our plans at the last minute,”
Everyone disagrees sometimes, and that’s totally ok. When you do, don’t disappear or shut down communication. At a minimum, tell your partner that you’re upset and need some time to cool down and process your thoughts before you talk. This way they don’t feel like you’re disappearing on them, or ignoring their feelings.
- Listen to each other
Listening is a skill that many people lack in today’s world of multi-tasking and obsession with technology. If you want to show your partner true respect, then you should make an effort to truly listen to them when they are talking to you. This doesn’t mean interrupting, offering advice when you aren’t asked, or waiting for your turn to speak, but truly taking the time to pay attention to the things your partner is saying to you and appreciating their thoughts, experiences, and ideas.
- Learn to tolerate and appreciate differences
As you move forward in your relationship, you will find that there are some ways in which you and your partner are fundamentally different. Maybe your partner is a neat freak while you’re messy; maybe you’re really social while they are more on the shy side. Though you can change a bit to suit each other, you can’t change completely, and you have to learn to accept and appreciate your differences if you want to truly respect your partner.
- Learn to Compromise
Another way to respect your partner is to be able to compromise on the things you disagree about. When you’re making a decision together, the most important thing is that you both first listen to each other and make sure you understand exactly where the other person stands on the issue. Then, you should be able to discuss the pros and cons of the situation in a respectful manner and to find a resolution that can make both of you as happy as possible.
- Speak kindly to and about each other
One way to majorly disrespect your partner is to be mean or to criticize them in public, especially in front of your friends and family members. You should look at each other as a team; if you have any issues with them, you should raise them in the privacy of your own home, not in front of other people. Saying mean things to them in front of others or snapping at them in public will make them feel terrible and resent you, and it will make your friends and family uncomfortable.
- Supporting each other’s interests, hobbies, careers, etc.
If your spouse cares about something, you must care about it too. You may not feel the same as your spouse does about sports, fashion, or what a particular person says or does, but you can care about it because you care about your spouse and the impact that issue, person, or situation has on them.
- Build each other up
If you want to respect your partner, then you should want only the best for them. You should be there to help your partner reach his full potential and to realize their dreams. You should be there to tell your partner she’s going to do great before a job interview, that he’s going to break his personal record during his next marathon, and that they are capable of finishing that novel they started five years ago.
- Honor each other’s boundaries
Everyone has their own boundaries, and if you want to truly respect your partner, then you have to know what theirs are and be willing to respect them. Maybe your partner is really private and hates it when you look through old photos of him or talk about his past in front of others; maybe she really doesn’t like it when you tease her about how she was overweight as a child. Whatever those boundaries are, you have to recognize them and be caring and respectful enough to respect them.
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